The Self-control versus Letting Go debate...
A week or so ago I posted an update on facebook about self-control being the answer to life’s problems.
My friend, Debbie Chacamaty commented, “And here I thought it was all about losing control,….hmmmmm gotta think about that one.” This offhand quip got me pondering about control versus flow….
I stepped back and looked at Tai chi. My esteemed Shifu, Dr. Alex Feng has as the third of his three main points of Tai Chi as being 'form versus formlessness'. He says, “Be Like Seaweed”.
Yet we practice and strive to learn the ‘set’ -the choreography of the movements (be they Chen, Yang or any other style). This takes enormous self control to remember foot work and posture and mental attitude and how your hands should be held and to RELAX!
In my opinion, this is the form he speaks about. Yet within this form we must be loose and flowing – the ‘letting go ‘ that Debbie commented upon.
Even the seaweed that my Teacher speaks about grows only upward while the roots drive down and grip the sea floor. It has boundaries- edges of the leaves that it grows within, yet within these ‘limits’ it moves freely with the currents- just as we should.
So what kind of self-control does this now famous seaweed exhibit? It’s control lies in its fierce hook onto the rocky sea floor, for the moment it decides to let go completely -to be absolutely loose to the tides, it looses it’s roots and the nutrients they provide (at least like the kelp at the Monterrey Bay Aquarium).
So again we must be as the slug sliding along the razorblade between form and formlessness-Fully present in both –simultaneously- absolutely in control but loose and open and flowing. Can you do it?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The History of the Tape/A2 position at the Giants
Once upon a time someone decided to ‘Cross a diamond with a pearl-and turn it on the world”.
They created the tape/a2 position at the Giants. It lasted from 1989 To 2001?.
It might have initially been created as a cost savings for the Giants show . I am not sure. What it ended up being was great hybrid training position.
How it worked was the tape/a2 would arrive and setup all the audio on the field. This included the booth and all the field effects mics. (jobs that two a2s do now, by the way). Once all the audio was faxed you would go to a brief lunch. After that it was off to the tape room to run a replay machine. Then at the top of the ninth you would sprint to the field for the post game interview and strike all the field audio then strike the booth audio. Needless to say it was a very long day.
Here is a running order of those who performed the job.
1) Aaron Skojkov 1989
2) Scott Hazen 1990
3) Lars Pacheco 1991
4) Tom Hunter1992
5) Dave Stagnero ( 3 years?)
6) Deb Robertson 1996
7) Derek Hirsch (1997- 1998)
8) Mike Bird 1999?
9) D'Aulaire Louwerse 2000-2001?
(David Koppett says of this group “Wow... that is an All-Star team. Pretty cool.”)
I am proud to be on that list. (Though it is ironic, I am the only one who continued in audio)( Deb Robertson told me that the 2010 World Series tape room consisted of herself, Tom Hunter, Aaron Stojkov and Scott Hazen-among others.)
Anyway, I was brought in more as a request from Wes Weaver, (the famed mixer for the Giants and A’s broadcasts for many years.) It turns out Wes had gotten tired of training A2s every year. So the tape room had to deal with me.
I drank a quad mocha before the game to help with my concentration but it didn’t help out very much. I was quite tense. So much so that I would hold my breath as I ran a replay!
The tape room is an interesting place. It is like it’s own state (New Hampshire?)in that has a little autonomy. They work together rolling opens and replays (and at least when I did it they would also cover for each other while one machine was playing back a replay another operator would cover the camera that was not being recorded. Now with the non-linear EVS machines this could have changed). But while all this is going on there is a constant banter and stream of jokes. …What everyone else hadthe ability to do was joke and laugh and still know what their machines had recorded. I could not do this for some reason! I am glad I had an opportunity to sit in the tape room. It taught me that there is a camaraderie and a teamwork back there. And yes, tapers work hard too!
Here is a remembrance from D’aulaire:
Dear A2/Tape,
You made me strong, you made me enjoy intimate moments between John Ward,
Tom Hunter, and Scott Hazen sandwiched in dimly-lit small areas, my skills
at over-under blossomed, you gave me tough skin and to defend myself in the
“viper pit”, you allowed me to roll with “The Bruce” for a summer, I learned
never cut to 2 when the ball went up the middle and that made Deb happy, got
to setup the home booth at the Opening of SBC park …horribly, literally ran
into Ken Griffey Jr, played back in real time the first splash HR from
Downey on splash cam, So much in just half the summer then I went away and
you went away….a sad thing, but as I said to the tape room …”It’s all up
here”.
Yours Truly,
D’Aulaire Class of 2000
Here are some stories from Scott Hazen and Deb Robertson..
S.H: NMT’s A3 was setup with a four person front bench. At one time we called it the ‘Hair Club for Men’. There was Jerry Piazza who was in the later stages of baldness, then Jim Armintrout who was entering into the later stages of baldness, then John Ward who was in the thinning stages then myself who was very hairy, so much that they called me ‘Jesus’.
D.R One of our jobs was grabbing the player for the post game interview. I had a streak of going out and grabbing a player either home or visiting for every game. It was getting near the end of the season and Jeff Kuiper wanted me go grab some lower tier player but then Dave Benzer goaded me into going and asking Barry Bonds to do a post game interview. So little did I know that every camera guy was watching me go out to try and get Bonds. And it is documented on tape of me being turned down by Barry, BUT, I saved the day and was able to go get Tom Lampkin and still get an interview so my streak was still alive.
S.H…..My experience with Mike Bird was one of young love…two men exploring their bodies…No Just kidding ! …Actually my mentors John Ward and Jim Armintrout were very influential in my young television life. Teaching me the ropes; that you can have fun and still be very professional. I can think of ‘stoli night’ as one of my favorite,-- yet also nerve-wracking experience in the tape room. Basically everyone imbibed in Stoli screw drivers (with John Ward’s Donald Duck orange juice –I don’t know if that goes back to the roots of being an Oregon Duck or just a fan of Disney products) while we were doing the broadcast and no mistakes were made (that I know of .) (John Ward adds it was fresh squeezed orange juice and ‘Don’t try this at home!’)
Here’s what Jim Armintrout remembers about the famed A2/tape position.
Actually I remember thinking that this was going to be a bad idea and who could possibly learn to be any good at tape if they were constantly running around doing A2 work all the time? And it turned out that (once again) I was wrong and all of the people who came into that position did great at it and moved on to be pros in the field whether they stayed in tape or moved on to another area.
I'm pretty sure it had little to do with the mentors. Maybe it was just the freedom of the environment that we had to try things and fail at them and then try something else and succeed at it that made it work. Hopefully those who have moved on into positions of Production are trying to live by those concepts even now?
Here is one of my stories from the 1997 or 1998 seasons... After every game I had to go down to low 1st and put a headset on Dusty Baker for a post game interview.
Well this one game I had him set up on headset and leaned back against the wall for the interview. Dave Benzer (the camera operator) said, "Derek put that cord behind his shoulder". I stepped to move it, but unfortunately the grounds crew had left a rake there. I stepped on the rake and WHOOSH the handle swishes inches in front of Dusty's face (ala 3 stooges). Just then the director (Jim Lynch) takes the camera, and says "what was that!?"Dave goes, "derek almost broke his leg!" Jim repies," Tell him he can't do that again!"
I almost hit Dusty Baker in the head with a rake ON THE AIR! "
Tom Hunter: My Tape/A2 year was way back in 1992. More often than not during that season the Giants tape room consisted of Kevin Skillings, Jim Armintrout, and John Ward, and to me, a young and impressionable man just beginning his journey in the business, I was quite starry-eyed, not just with the creative and inventive work they performed on a nightly basis, but their ability to make the work fun. Those three in their various ways had a major impact on my success, and it all started with that enjoyable and educational season.
A back story that dovetails into my reminisce is to approximate a story told to my tape brethren that year by the Giants head of stadium operations, Jorge Costas. His tale involved busting a drunken group of college kids at a game. He called that group of miscreants "Walking-talking time-bombs".
Now as the new member that season I was anxious to fit in and earn their approbation, as well as desperate not to make mistakes as to receive well intentioned yet cutting jibes from my superiors. One night that summer of 1992 I was called upon to run a replay of a nicely turned double play from a feature that was run earlier that evening. For you youngsters out there we at the time used reel-to-reel, hand cranked videotape machines for replays. So there I was actually getting to do a replay, which was rare for the Tape/A2 person those days as we had the least used angle in our machine. The key to this particular reply was that the split second that the first baseman caught the ball the feature cut to the next shot, which had nothing to do with the previous one. I knew that and so did Trout and John. Well, of course, even slowly turning by hand, I missed my freeze by a frame or two and up came the next shot. Groans and hoots proceeded to rain upon me, and I was mortified. In my embarrassment and frustration I hand slapped the wall next to me and probably utter a curse. That stopped the cat-calls, but it lead to John commenting, "Boy Tom is a Time-Bomb". With that thought in their heads mixed with the memory of Jorge Costas's story, Trout and John in unison proclaimed, "Yes, he is a Time-Bomb. Let's call him that from now on...Hey Time-Bomb! Take it easy there Time-Bomb....Time-Bomb-Time-Bomb, Time-Bomb!"
It has now 19 years later and the nickname has morphed, but still to this day I am known to one and all, young and old alike, as "Bomber".
Here is a story from Lars:
Below is one of my many memories from the 1991 baseball season when I was the A2/Tape operator on the Giants telecasts. For what it's worth, it has nothing really to do with the job, but rather a chance encounter with Will Clark, the Giants first baseman at the time.
On a typical late afternoon, before a midweek night game at Candlestick Park in 1991, I was down on the field wrapping some microphones following soundbites down at the low first camera position. As was usual for this time of the day, the wind had begun to kick up within the park. It was especially strong down on the field and at times would swirl, picking up dirt, paper, or any other loose particles that had gone uncollected.
As I finished up my duties, and began to make my way back to the Truck, the wind was howling, and blowing in from right field towards home plate. So, dressed in my typical TV production attire at the time, i.e. shorts, sneakers, and a sweatshirt, I skipped in front of the Giants first base dugout, headed towards the backstop stairs. At first, I felt the strong gust of wind at my legs, and then suddenly, something attach itself to the back of my left shoe. As I continued to walk, trying not to draw attention to myself, I noticed that it was a Styrofoam Burger container, the kind that the Big Mac used to come in. With each passing step however, I now realized that the strength of the wind was enough to keep the container pressed to my left foot. No worries, I thought...I would soon be off the field and headed to the warm confines of Tape.
Then I heard it...the loud, obnoxious, high pitched shriek coming from the dugout. "Hey Buddyyy...you dropped you're Cheeseburger! Buddyyy, you dropped you're Cheeseburger!" Ugh...it was Will Clark, the Giants First Baseman yelling at me. He had noticed the Styrofoam container, and was now in full blown A**hole mode. He hit me again..."Buddyyy, Buddyyy, you dropped you're Cheeseburger." I scurried across the dugout, cursing him under my breath, all the while making sure that I didn't give him the satisfaction by acknowledging his taunts! Soon, all I heard behind me was the making of "Buddyyy, hey Buddyyy" as I made my way thru the backstop gate, thinking, what a DICK and hoping that no one was staring at me as I double timed it up the Lower Box steps.
And with that, the moment was gone, only to live forever in the memory banks of John Ward and Tom Hunter. The Giants 1989 NLCS hero was now my Public Enemy Number One!
Lars Pacheco
A2/Tape 1991
And so on…..I will let John Ward, one of the mentors of every tape/a2 close out this debris….
it indeed was camelot. we launched new ideas and also made so many mistakes but all things were possible. it was less of a business, more about the coverage and we had a total blast. also we thought it was art although i have seen some crazy, weird, and downright bad stuff we did back in the day that certainly doesn't hold up! however it was no doubt a one of a kind boot camp/think tank/incubator for some of the finest talent anybody has ever seen, OMG look at that list we must have been doing something right! the best analogy i have is if you have ever watched classic tv like johnny carson or dean martin. sometimes brilliant, sometimes awkward, but always hall of famers doing their best drinking and smoking and letting the audience know you are having a really good time. please try to fit that on our tombstones! finally derek never forget scott hazen's advice: breathe! good times, JW
Here is a final ‘p.s’ from Aaron Stojkov , the first tape/a2:
During my Giantsvision intern season of 1988 along with setting up,
striking, practicing on-camera during batting practice and generally being
an annoyance, I would also help Wes Weaver set-up audio on the field.
(I also remember running to get Wes many hot dogs and sodas, but that's
another story)
It became clear that audio was not an area where many of the interns
seemed to gravitate, so I sort of made an effort to help Wes and the A-2
(Roger Inman?) out more. You also heard lots of crazy stories from Grady
hanging out in the booth "setting up".
That and my good looks are probably why I was asked to fill the
inaugural A-2/Tape role in 1989.
While I eventually became an official A-2 on shows in the Bay Area over
the next few years, the true value of the A-2/tape position was on-headset,
operating equipment, part-of-the-show access to the truck.
You learn so much more about how a broadcast operates, and everyone's
role in it, by being in the truck. And the tape room is unique in that you
have the ability to discuss, critique and "back seat" produce the show. The
lively discussions and debates we we're exposed to in the A-2/tape position
are unique throughout the remote television.
To this day I don't remember being around a more creative group of
people than were on that show & in that tape room. John Ward, Trout, Jerry,
Greg Overton, Don Watt, Hank, etc. taught me a great deal about how to
handle myself in this business. And about the philosophies of why things
were done a certain way...but also wondering why not try it this way? You
realized quickly what a delightful laboratory that tape room was when you
started working on visiting feeds or traveling to other markets.
OK...I probably didn't learn much from Hank:-) (I think Hank is Kevin Skillings? –Derek)
I don't recall chasing down players postgame as an A-2...but I
definitely remember Stoli night, learning how to thread Ampex 1" machines,
cutting low home (Cam 7) to Hi 1st (Cam 3), inserting the last white flash
in the roll-out with just enough time to cue the damn thing for air, and
carrying a milk crate of 816's and audio cables up from the field at
Candlestick on another cold & foggy night.
Fortune definitely has smiled upon me in the TV biz, and I hope in the
many years I spent as a Tape Op after that 1989 season I was able to pass on
some of the lessons I learned in that environment. Because it's guaranteed
that I wouldn't have started up this TV sports "corporate ladder" if fate
hadn't placed Mark Gummere at an internship meeting at SF State, and I
didn't end up around that Candlestick culture.
They created the tape/a2 position at the Giants. It lasted from 1989 To 2001?.
It might have initially been created as a cost savings for the Giants show . I am not sure. What it ended up being was great hybrid training position.
How it worked was the tape/a2 would arrive and setup all the audio on the field. This included the booth and all the field effects mics. (jobs that two a2s do now, by the way). Once all the audio was faxed you would go to a brief lunch. After that it was off to the tape room to run a replay machine. Then at the top of the ninth you would sprint to the field for the post game interview and strike all the field audio then strike the booth audio. Needless to say it was a very long day.
Here is a running order of those who performed the job.
1) Aaron Skojkov 1989
2) Scott Hazen 1990
3) Lars Pacheco 1991
4) Tom Hunter1992
5) Dave Stagnero ( 3 years?)
6) Deb Robertson 1996
7) Derek Hirsch (1997- 1998)
8) Mike Bird 1999?
9) D'Aulaire Louwerse 2000-2001?
(David Koppett says of this group “Wow... that is an All-Star team. Pretty cool.”)
I am proud to be on that list. (Though it is ironic, I am the only one who continued in audio)( Deb Robertson told me that the 2010 World Series tape room consisted of herself, Tom Hunter, Aaron Stojkov and Scott Hazen-among others.)
Anyway, I was brought in more as a request from Wes Weaver, (the famed mixer for the Giants and A’s broadcasts for many years.) It turns out Wes had gotten tired of training A2s every year. So the tape room had to deal with me.
I drank a quad mocha before the game to help with my concentration but it didn’t help out very much. I was quite tense. So much so that I would hold my breath as I ran a replay!
The tape room is an interesting place. It is like it’s own state (New Hampshire?)in that has a little autonomy. They work together rolling opens and replays (and at least when I did it they would also cover for each other while one machine was playing back a replay another operator would cover the camera that was not being recorded. Now with the non-linear EVS machines this could have changed). But while all this is going on there is a constant banter and stream of jokes. …What everyone else hadthe ability to do was joke and laugh and still know what their machines had recorded. I could not do this for some reason! I am glad I had an opportunity to sit in the tape room. It taught me that there is a camaraderie and a teamwork back there. And yes, tapers work hard too!
Here is a remembrance from D’aulaire:
Dear A2/Tape,
You made me strong, you made me enjoy intimate moments between John Ward,
Tom Hunter, and Scott Hazen sandwiched in dimly-lit small areas, my skills
at over-under blossomed, you gave me tough skin and to defend myself in the
“viper pit”, you allowed me to roll with “The Bruce” for a summer, I learned
never cut to 2 when the ball went up the middle and that made Deb happy, got
to setup the home booth at the Opening of SBC park …horribly, literally ran
into Ken Griffey Jr, played back in real time the first splash HR from
Downey on splash cam, So much in just half the summer then I went away and
you went away….a sad thing, but as I said to the tape room …”It’s all up
here”.
Yours Truly,
D’Aulaire Class of 2000
Here are some stories from Scott Hazen and Deb Robertson..
S.H: NMT’s A3 was setup with a four person front bench. At one time we called it the ‘Hair Club for Men’. There was Jerry Piazza who was in the later stages of baldness, then Jim Armintrout who was entering into the later stages of baldness, then John Ward who was in the thinning stages then myself who was very hairy, so much that they called me ‘Jesus’.
D.R One of our jobs was grabbing the player for the post game interview. I had a streak of going out and grabbing a player either home or visiting for every game. It was getting near the end of the season and Jeff Kuiper wanted me go grab some lower tier player but then Dave Benzer goaded me into going and asking Barry Bonds to do a post game interview. So little did I know that every camera guy was watching me go out to try and get Bonds. And it is documented on tape of me being turned down by Barry, BUT, I saved the day and was able to go get Tom Lampkin and still get an interview so my streak was still alive.
S.H…..My experience with Mike Bird was one of young love…two men exploring their bodies…No Just kidding ! …Actually my mentors John Ward and Jim Armintrout were very influential in my young television life. Teaching me the ropes; that you can have fun and still be very professional. I can think of ‘stoli night’ as one of my favorite,-- yet also nerve-wracking experience in the tape room. Basically everyone imbibed in Stoli screw drivers (with John Ward’s Donald Duck orange juice –I don’t know if that goes back to the roots of being an Oregon Duck or just a fan of Disney products) while we were doing the broadcast and no mistakes were made (that I know of .) (John Ward adds it was fresh squeezed orange juice and ‘Don’t try this at home!’)
Here’s what Jim Armintrout remembers about the famed A2/tape position.
Actually I remember thinking that this was going to be a bad idea and who could possibly learn to be any good at tape if they were constantly running around doing A2 work all the time? And it turned out that (once again) I was wrong and all of the people who came into that position did great at it and moved on to be pros in the field whether they stayed in tape or moved on to another area.
I'm pretty sure it had little to do with the mentors. Maybe it was just the freedom of the environment that we had to try things and fail at them and then try something else and succeed at it that made it work. Hopefully those who have moved on into positions of Production are trying to live by those concepts even now?
Here is one of my stories from the 1997 or 1998 seasons... After every game I had to go down to low 1st and put a headset on Dusty Baker for a post game interview.
Well this one game I had him set up on headset and leaned back against the wall for the interview. Dave Benzer (the camera operator) said, "Derek put that cord behind his shoulder". I stepped to move it, but unfortunately the grounds crew had left a rake there. I stepped on the rake and WHOOSH the handle swishes inches in front of Dusty's face (ala 3 stooges). Just then the director (Jim Lynch) takes the camera, and says "what was that!?"Dave goes, "derek almost broke his leg!" Jim repies," Tell him he can't do that again!"
I almost hit Dusty Baker in the head with a rake ON THE AIR! "
Tom Hunter: My Tape/A2 year was way back in 1992. More often than not during that season the Giants tape room consisted of Kevin Skillings, Jim Armintrout, and John Ward, and to me, a young and impressionable man just beginning his journey in the business, I was quite starry-eyed, not just with the creative and inventive work they performed on a nightly basis, but their ability to make the work fun. Those three in their various ways had a major impact on my success, and it all started with that enjoyable and educational season.
A back story that dovetails into my reminisce is to approximate a story told to my tape brethren that year by the Giants head of stadium operations, Jorge Costas. His tale involved busting a drunken group of college kids at a game. He called that group of miscreants "Walking-talking time-bombs".
Now as the new member that season I was anxious to fit in and earn their approbation, as well as desperate not to make mistakes as to receive well intentioned yet cutting jibes from my superiors. One night that summer of 1992 I was called upon to run a replay of a nicely turned double play from a feature that was run earlier that evening. For you youngsters out there we at the time used reel-to-reel, hand cranked videotape machines for replays. So there I was actually getting to do a replay, which was rare for the Tape/A2 person those days as we had the least used angle in our machine. The key to this particular reply was that the split second that the first baseman caught the ball the feature cut to the next shot, which had nothing to do with the previous one. I knew that and so did Trout and John. Well, of course, even slowly turning by hand, I missed my freeze by a frame or two and up came the next shot. Groans and hoots proceeded to rain upon me, and I was mortified. In my embarrassment and frustration I hand slapped the wall next to me and probably utter a curse. That stopped the cat-calls, but it lead to John commenting, "Boy Tom is a Time-Bomb". With that thought in their heads mixed with the memory of Jorge Costas's story, Trout and John in unison proclaimed, "Yes, he is a Time-Bomb. Let's call him that from now on...Hey Time-Bomb! Take it easy there Time-Bomb....Time-Bomb-Time-Bomb, Time-Bomb!"
It has now 19 years later and the nickname has morphed, but still to this day I am known to one and all, young and old alike, as "Bomber".
Here is a story from Lars:
Below is one of my many memories from the 1991 baseball season when I was the A2/Tape operator on the Giants telecasts. For what it's worth, it has nothing really to do with the job, but rather a chance encounter with Will Clark, the Giants first baseman at the time.
On a typical late afternoon, before a midweek night game at Candlestick Park in 1991, I was down on the field wrapping some microphones following soundbites down at the low first camera position. As was usual for this time of the day, the wind had begun to kick up within the park. It was especially strong down on the field and at times would swirl, picking up dirt, paper, or any other loose particles that had gone uncollected.
As I finished up my duties, and began to make my way back to the Truck, the wind was howling, and blowing in from right field towards home plate. So, dressed in my typical TV production attire at the time, i.e. shorts, sneakers, and a sweatshirt, I skipped in front of the Giants first base dugout, headed towards the backstop stairs. At first, I felt the strong gust of wind at my legs, and then suddenly, something attach itself to the back of my left shoe. As I continued to walk, trying not to draw attention to myself, I noticed that it was a Styrofoam Burger container, the kind that the Big Mac used to come in. With each passing step however, I now realized that the strength of the wind was enough to keep the container pressed to my left foot. No worries, I thought...I would soon be off the field and headed to the warm confines of Tape.
Then I heard it...the loud, obnoxious, high pitched shriek coming from the dugout. "Hey Buddyyy...you dropped you're Cheeseburger! Buddyyy, you dropped you're Cheeseburger!" Ugh...it was Will Clark, the Giants First Baseman yelling at me. He had noticed the Styrofoam container, and was now in full blown A**hole mode. He hit me again..."Buddyyy, Buddyyy, you dropped you're Cheeseburger." I scurried across the dugout, cursing him under my breath, all the while making sure that I didn't give him the satisfaction by acknowledging his taunts! Soon, all I heard behind me was the making of "Buddyyy, hey Buddyyy" as I made my way thru the backstop gate, thinking, what a DICK and hoping that no one was staring at me as I double timed it up the Lower Box steps.
And with that, the moment was gone, only to live forever in the memory banks of John Ward and Tom Hunter. The Giants 1989 NLCS hero was now my Public Enemy Number One!
Lars Pacheco
A2/Tape 1991
And so on…..I will let John Ward, one of the mentors of every tape/a2 close out this debris….
it indeed was camelot. we launched new ideas and also made so many mistakes but all things were possible. it was less of a business, more about the coverage and we had a total blast. also we thought it was art although i have seen some crazy, weird, and downright bad stuff we did back in the day that certainly doesn't hold up! however it was no doubt a one of a kind boot camp/think tank/incubator for some of the finest talent anybody has ever seen, OMG look at that list we must have been doing something right! the best analogy i have is if you have ever watched classic tv like johnny carson or dean martin. sometimes brilliant, sometimes awkward, but always hall of famers doing their best drinking and smoking and letting the audience know you are having a really good time. please try to fit that on our tombstones! finally derek never forget scott hazen's advice: breathe! good times, JW
Here is a final ‘p.s’ from Aaron Stojkov , the first tape/a2:
During my Giantsvision intern season of 1988 along with setting up,
striking, practicing on-camera during batting practice and generally being
an annoyance, I would also help Wes Weaver set-up audio on the field.
(I also remember running to get Wes many hot dogs and sodas, but that's
another story)
It became clear that audio was not an area where many of the interns
seemed to gravitate, so I sort of made an effort to help Wes and the A-2
(Roger Inman?) out more. You also heard lots of crazy stories from Grady
hanging out in the booth "setting up".
That and my good looks are probably why I was asked to fill the
inaugural A-2/Tape role in 1989.
While I eventually became an official A-2 on shows in the Bay Area over
the next few years, the true value of the A-2/tape position was on-headset,
operating equipment, part-of-the-show access to the truck.
You learn so much more about how a broadcast operates, and everyone's
role in it, by being in the truck. And the tape room is unique in that you
have the ability to discuss, critique and "back seat" produce the show. The
lively discussions and debates we we're exposed to in the A-2/tape position
are unique throughout the remote television.
To this day I don't remember being around a more creative group of
people than were on that show & in that tape room. John Ward, Trout, Jerry,
Greg Overton, Don Watt, Hank, etc. taught me a great deal about how to
handle myself in this business. And about the philosophies of why things
were done a certain way...but also wondering why not try it this way? You
realized quickly what a delightful laboratory that tape room was when you
started working on visiting feeds or traveling to other markets.
OK...I probably didn't learn much from Hank:-) (I think Hank is Kevin Skillings? –Derek)
I don't recall chasing down players postgame as an A-2...but I
definitely remember Stoli night, learning how to thread Ampex 1" machines,
cutting low home (Cam 7) to Hi 1st (Cam 3), inserting the last white flash
in the roll-out with just enough time to cue the damn thing for air, and
carrying a milk crate of 816's and audio cables up from the field at
Candlestick on another cold & foggy night.
Fortune definitely has smiled upon me in the TV biz, and I hope in the
many years I spent as a Tape Op after that 1989 season I was able to pass on
some of the lessons I learned in that environment. Because it's guaranteed
that I wouldn't have started up this TV sports "corporate ladder" if fate
hadn't placed Mark Gummere at an internship meeting at SF State, and I
didn't end up around that Candlestick culture.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Healing Power of Music
"You can look at disease as a form of disharmony. And there's no organ system in the body that's not affected by sound and music and vibration."
- Mitchell Gaynor, M.D., Sounds of Healing
Last week I was working the Sharks game and I was not feeling well. After the game I played Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Machine Gun’ from the Band of Gypsys record pretty loud through the nice Genelec monitors on Mira’s M7. I just put myself in the sweet spot and dipped my head and soaked it in. I really let myself feel the music with my body as much as my ears.
I have always loved that song. There is a part midway through the tune where Jimi does this massive bend, Literally screaming. (at 3:55 in the video below) In that bend I have always heard all the pain on this planet. He was channeling it. For me. And you too. (It is telling to watch him on this song. No showboating or flopping or rolling on the stage-- Just the Music)
Anyway when I got home that night I lied down on the couch and read my tweets and emails. I coughed up some phlegm and didn’t feel that great. I went to bed and slept poorly. I wheezed and tossed and remembered a year ago when I was in the hospital.
After I finally fell asleep at 3am I slept in to 9. I woke up feeling ok.
I think I let the music in and let it do the work.
Music heals in that it exists below cognition. Obviously we think about music all the time too, but where it has it’s power is that it makes us feel. At least good music does.
"A person does not hear sound only through the ears; he hears sound through every pore of his body. It permeates the entire being, and according to its particular influence either slows or quickens the rhythm of the blood circulation; it either wakens or soothes the nervous system. It arouses a person to greater passions or it calms him by bringing him peace.Music has healed me in my more distant past as well.
- Hazrat Inayat Khan, Mysticism of Sound
In the mid Eighties I wrote to James Brown when he was in prison. I thanked him for making music that touched me.
"I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from everyone loves music."
- Billy Joel
This is the tattoo on my right arm. It has the Chinese character for 'Tao' or "the Way' and eighth notes. Or "MUSIC IS THE WAY"
"Many say that life entered the human body by the help of music, but the truth is that life itself is music."
-Hafiz (Persian Sufi poet)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Adventures of Storymon
The Adventures of Storymon
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. — Muriel Rukeyser
In the islands there is a legend- a tale of a person with a unique ability.
The locals called him Storymon. Everything his gaze falls upon reveals its story to him. Each day he sees hundreds of stories, yet he can’t remember any of them.
Legend goes of a quiet moonless night when a scream of pain knifed from Storymon’s tent. They say he saw a story so violent and intense his mind built walls between his perceptions and his memories. He can see, he can tell, but he cannot retell.
Now he lives alone in a tent on the beach. He is in his eighties and isn’t in any hurry anywhere. Twenty years ago though he was feared in his village because he could see everyone’s secrets, but over time people learned he did not judge them by the small bumps and eddies in the river of their lives; how could he when he saw where those river were going and how they would eventually run dry?
So there sits Storymon- quiet and open. He smiles, but not all the time. He weeps, but never for long. Everynow and then he claps his big hands and calls for the village kids.
“Every object has a story”, he would say to the children gathered around him on the beach to watch the sunset. “Each grain of sand, every coral and seaweed here has traveled a great distance and endured a life of struggle and joy. Just like you.”
Gesturing over his shoulder at the village behind him, “That surf board or fishing net has a story too. Each thing was created out of other things. They will live and grow through their days and eventual death back into other things. Each with its own story.”
Pika, a little girl who sat at the edge of the group asked, “I see things all around me just like you but I don’t see any stories. What does a story look like?”
Storymon’s eyes found the horizon as his face glowed gold in the sun’s waning rays. “It is like a song. I can say it is happy or sad or fast or slow but you still will not know the song until you hear it.” He then smiled and fell silent as the waves thumped and hissed on the sand.
Pika sat and listened. She felt the sun’s warmth on her legs, she felt the slam of the waves travel through the sand and the wet kiss of the sea spray. After a pause she asked quietly, “When you look at my face what is my Song then?”
Storymon had been asked this question hundreds of times. “Have you ever stood between two mirrors facing each other? They reflect back and forth bending away to forever. It is similar to this. I see your sweet face, but under it I see your other faces like oil on water. And you are beautiful.”
He continued,“Do you see this rock I sit upon? It was born in the entrails of a volcano that is rooted in the center of the earth. I see it cool in the steaming water and then break off and tumble through the waves until it lands here; where I sit. After I get up and walk away it will continue to be crushed and spun into smaller and smaller pieces of sand. So it has always been….”
Storymon lowered his grey head and smelled the air he was breathing. By now the sun had finished burrowing below the horizon and the sky released a burst of colors like a cheering audience.
Moments passed. The palms sighed in the wind. A bat flew low over the sand.
Storymon opened his green eyes and floated his gaze slowly over the children. “Look, every object you see is like a flame. You see it dance- you feel its heat and smell its smoke but when you reach out to poke it with a stick there is nothing there to touch. For flame is not a thing but a process. We are like that too.”
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. — Muriel Rukeyser
In the islands there is a legend- a tale of a person with a unique ability.
The locals called him Storymon. Everything his gaze falls upon reveals its story to him. Each day he sees hundreds of stories, yet he can’t remember any of them.
Legend goes of a quiet moonless night when a scream of pain knifed from Storymon’s tent. They say he saw a story so violent and intense his mind built walls between his perceptions and his memories. He can see, he can tell, but he cannot retell.
Now he lives alone in a tent on the beach. He is in his eighties and isn’t in any hurry anywhere. Twenty years ago though he was feared in his village because he could see everyone’s secrets, but over time people learned he did not judge them by the small bumps and eddies in the river of their lives; how could he when he saw where those river were going and how they would eventually run dry?
So there sits Storymon- quiet and open. He smiles, but not all the time. He weeps, but never for long. Everynow and then he claps his big hands and calls for the village kids.
“Every object has a story”, he would say to the children gathered around him on the beach to watch the sunset. “Each grain of sand, every coral and seaweed here has traveled a great distance and endured a life of struggle and joy. Just like you.”
Gesturing over his shoulder at the village behind him, “That surf board or fishing net has a story too. Each thing was created out of other things. They will live and grow through their days and eventual death back into other things. Each with its own story.”
Pika, a little girl who sat at the edge of the group asked, “I see things all around me just like you but I don’t see any stories. What does a story look like?”
Storymon’s eyes found the horizon as his face glowed gold in the sun’s waning rays. “It is like a song. I can say it is happy or sad or fast or slow but you still will not know the song until you hear it.” He then smiled and fell silent as the waves thumped and hissed on the sand.
Pika sat and listened. She felt the sun’s warmth on her legs, she felt the slam of the waves travel through the sand and the wet kiss of the sea spray. After a pause she asked quietly, “When you look at my face what is my Song then?”
Storymon had been asked this question hundreds of times. “Have you ever stood between two mirrors facing each other? They reflect back and forth bending away to forever. It is similar to this. I see your sweet face, but under it I see your other faces like oil on water. And you are beautiful.”
He continued,“Do you see this rock I sit upon? It was born in the entrails of a volcano that is rooted in the center of the earth. I see it cool in the steaming water and then break off and tumble through the waves until it lands here; where I sit. After I get up and walk away it will continue to be crushed and spun into smaller and smaller pieces of sand. So it has always been….”
Storymon lowered his grey head and smelled the air he was breathing. By now the sun had finished burrowing below the horizon and the sky released a burst of colors like a cheering audience.
Moments passed. The palms sighed in the wind. A bat flew low over the sand.
Storymon opened his green eyes and floated his gaze slowly over the children. “Look, every object you see is like a flame. You see it dance- you feel its heat and smell its smoke but when you reach out to poke it with a stick there is nothing there to touch. For flame is not a thing but a process. We are like that too.”
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Share Your Solitude/You Don't Have To Look Far To See Yourself
In 1999 on vacation in British Columbia I was surprised that even in the remotest wilderness there were other people around. I was hoping to be lost in the silence of the great white north.----My solution? Share Your Solitude---A phrase was born and has since grown into this song....
Now I find my daughter Sage is similar to me, in that we enjoy our friends but we need alone time as well. For me, moments of solitude lead to getting things done; meditation, ukulele, Tai Chi and so on…. I love it. But I have found solitude really is a state of mind (especially with kids). One must find that quiet/alone time even surrounded by noise and mayhem.
Maybe it is a question of mindfulness; When I can be fully present during those few hours to myself in the day I don’t mind giving my time and attention to the family when everyone else comes home.
Truthfully, I am lucky I get time to myself as it is. My wife rarely does. And I feel it is something we all need and seek. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe everyone else is terrified of being alone and turn on the tv instead of being with themselves.
Regardless, Solitude is extinct in America. I am just as guilty of reaching out to the twitterverse and facebookland to fill my head with the voices of the minions swimming around in our small glass tank; commenting on the bubbles, there are so many distracting lights and sounds away from Solitude.
I think I like social media (to an extent) because I am involved in this society, I want to be a good citizen, I care about people and the world I live in, I want to be involved, I want to know you….
Which leads to the other part of my song: “You Don’t Have To Look Far To See Yourself”. No one is alone. We all enjoy ‘INTERBEING’. The plant cannot be separated from the soil, nor the sunlight, nor the water, and we cannot be separated from the plants and animals we eat.
If you think about it all of us have at least one thing in common, when we wake up in the morning and we open your eyes we each call ourselves “I”. -There is only one ‘I’.
To the best of my studies, in Buddhism this is the foundation of compassion: You peer out upon yourself. You are that homeless person. You are that Wall Street master of war. You are that mediocre ukulele player trying to sing in your ear.
From the moment of our birth we are taught incorrectly. We are taught mine and yours, us and them. When I believe it really is a matter of training your perceptions to see correctly, then those perceptions can inform our Mind of the true nature of reality. It is probably too late for me. How do you shatter the brainwashing of the Millenniums? Why did we evolve away from this non dualistic worldview?
I just try and remind myself at the gym- That funny looking dude, dressed real weird-- you are him. The cute, bored teller at the bank you are her. Then I look at my kids…
What better way to see yourself than through your kids and family. The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. This is why I chose pics of my family to go with the song. At the end of the song Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Because You are Him, He is You. Nothing to compare”.(Here is the whole Lecture.) Only things that are separate can be compared. But nothing is separate.---I.E ‘You Don’t Have To Look Far To See Yourself’
Back to the song…this really is the best of my abilities- I have tweaked these 5 minutes as hard as I can…so hear it is-warts and all... I am playing all the instruments… I rewrote the song a couple of times around the ukulele (which I think lends itself well to reggae). The ukulele has opened up some harmony territory like the Gmaj7 to F#min to Fmin. This is adventurous stuff for me that I haven't explored before... But my favorite parts are the lead bass parts. That’s my Rickenbacker through a Boss ‘compressor/sustainer’ pedal then my Peavy with turned up preamp. That tone goes back to Jimi. I always said Jimi Hendrix proved that it was an ELECTRIC guitar. Basses feedback too!
Anyway. Click here to hear my heart.
Share Your Solitude
F#m B7 D E7
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
Am...
Am
When you were driving on my freeway.
Em7 Am
There was a flash, -an instant you saw something.
Am
Did you glimpse yourself floating in the mirror?
Dm Am
Or did you -
Dm Am
Look out through
Am Em7 Am
All the other eyes on the Road?
Amaj7
Everyday there’s more people, and more cars…
F#m B7 D E7
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
Am...
Am
Hey there you go again cloggin’ up my freeway…
Em7 Am
Did you catch yourself ‘fore ya acted like an Asshole?
Am
Can you hear yourself crying out for help?
Dm Am
As you drive,
Dm Am
keep your life
Am Em7 Am Am7 A#m7
In perspective of the stars…
Bm .....
Bm
You are right to ask, “Who am I to preach”?
E
When I’m as bad as the next,
my lungs keep taking your last breath.
Gmaj7
And still I quest.
F#m
For solitude.
Fm Cm
As do you….
Fm Cm
…There’s nothin’ you can do…
D7
Don’t come unglued…
A/Dbdim
…Just…
E7 A/Dbdim E7 A/Dbdim
Share your solitude… Share your Solitude….
E7 A/Dbdim
Don’t be rude
E7 A/Dbdim
You’re never alone.
E7 A/Dbdim
There’s always someone ‘round.
E7 A/Dbdim
Making scary sound.
E7 A/Dbdim
Just calm down!
E7 A/Dbdim E7 A/Dbdim
And Share your Solitude. Share your Solitude….
B7
Share your Solitude….
(Riff)
B7 Em C --C D7 G
B7 Em C- C D7 G
G E7
Am....
Am
Try and see yourself in every other face
Em7 Am
Try and hear yourself in every other voice
Am
Try and find the time to listen to the silence
Em7 Am
Hmmm…Peace is the goal.
Amaj7
Whereever you go someone else will be there too.
F#m B7 D A
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
F#m B7 D A
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
F#m B7 D E7
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
Am7 D
And when you finally do-
Cmaj7 D
See yourself -like what you see…
Am7 D
And when you finally do-
Cmaj7 D
See yourself - like what you see…
Gmaj7 Cmaj7 Gmaj7 Cmaj7
the Wind, the Leaves, the Tree…
F G F G
Don’t get lost. It’s easy to get lost.
F Em Dm Dm C7 Bb Bb C7 F
Don’t let them. Stop you from, Being who you are.
E7sus4 Amaj7
Who you are. (Don’t Look Far)
Now I find my daughter Sage is similar to me, in that we enjoy our friends but we need alone time as well. For me, moments of solitude lead to getting things done; meditation, ukulele, Tai Chi and so on…. I love it. But I have found solitude really is a state of mind (especially with kids). One must find that quiet/alone time even surrounded by noise and mayhem.
Maybe it is a question of mindfulness; When I can be fully present during those few hours to myself in the day I don’t mind giving my time and attention to the family when everyone else comes home.
Truthfully, I am lucky I get time to myself as it is. My wife rarely does. And I feel it is something we all need and seek. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe everyone else is terrified of being alone and turn on the tv instead of being with themselves.
Regardless, Solitude is extinct in America. I am just as guilty of reaching out to the twitterverse and facebookland to fill my head with the voices of the minions swimming around in our small glass tank; commenting on the bubbles, there are so many distracting lights and sounds away from Solitude.
I think I like social media (to an extent) because I am involved in this society, I want to be a good citizen, I care about people and the world I live in, I want to be involved, I want to know you….
Which leads to the other part of my song: “You Don’t Have To Look Far To See Yourself”. No one is alone. We all enjoy ‘INTERBEING’. The plant cannot be separated from the soil, nor the sunlight, nor the water, and we cannot be separated from the plants and animals we eat.
If you think about it all of us have at least one thing in common, when we wake up in the morning and we open your eyes we each call ourselves “I”. -There is only one ‘I’.
To the best of my studies, in Buddhism this is the foundation of compassion: You peer out upon yourself. You are that homeless person. You are that Wall Street master of war. You are that mediocre ukulele player trying to sing in your ear.
From the moment of our birth we are taught incorrectly. We are taught mine and yours, us and them. When I believe it really is a matter of training your perceptions to see correctly, then those perceptions can inform our Mind of the true nature of reality. It is probably too late for me. How do you shatter the brainwashing of the Millenniums? Why did we evolve away from this non dualistic worldview?
I just try and remind myself at the gym- That funny looking dude, dressed real weird-- you are him. The cute, bored teller at the bank you are her. Then I look at my kids…
What better way to see yourself than through your kids and family. The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. This is why I chose pics of my family to go with the song. At the end of the song Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Because You are Him, He is You. Nothing to compare”.(Here is the whole Lecture.) Only things that are separate can be compared. But nothing is separate.---I.E ‘You Don’t Have To Look Far To See Yourself’
Back to the song…this really is the best of my abilities- I have tweaked these 5 minutes as hard as I can…so hear it is-warts and all... I am playing all the instruments… I rewrote the song a couple of times around the ukulele (which I think lends itself well to reggae). The ukulele has opened up some harmony territory like the Gmaj7 to F#min to Fmin. This is adventurous stuff for me that I haven't explored before... But my favorite parts are the lead bass parts. That’s my Rickenbacker through a Boss ‘compressor/sustainer’ pedal then my Peavy with turned up preamp. That tone goes back to Jimi. I always said Jimi Hendrix proved that it was an ELECTRIC guitar. Basses feedback too!
Anyway. Click here to hear my heart.
Share Your Solitude
F#m B7 D E7
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
Am...
Am
When you were driving on my freeway.
Em7 Am
There was a flash, -an instant you saw something.
Am
Did you glimpse yourself floating in the mirror?
Dm Am
Or did you -
Dm Am
Look out through
Am Em7 Am
All the other eyes on the Road?
Amaj7
Everyday there’s more people, and more cars…
F#m B7 D E7
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
Am...
Am
Hey there you go again cloggin’ up my freeway…
Em7 Am
Did you catch yourself ‘fore ya acted like an Asshole?
Am
Can you hear yourself crying out for help?
Dm Am
As you drive,
Dm Am
keep your life
Am Em7 Am Am7 A#m7
In perspective of the stars…
Bm .....
Bm
You are right to ask, “Who am I to preach”?
E
When I’m as bad as the next,
my lungs keep taking your last breath.
Gmaj7
And still I quest.
F#m
For solitude.
Fm Cm
As do you….
Fm Cm
…There’s nothin’ you can do…
D7
Don’t come unglued…
A/Dbdim
…Just…
E7 A/Dbdim E7 A/Dbdim
Share your solitude… Share your Solitude….
E7 A/Dbdim
Don’t be rude
E7 A/Dbdim
You’re never alone.
E7 A/Dbdim
There’s always someone ‘round.
E7 A/Dbdim
Making scary sound.
E7 A/Dbdim
Just calm down!
E7 A/Dbdim E7 A/Dbdim
And Share your Solitude. Share your Solitude….
B7
Share your Solitude….
(Riff)
B7 Em C --C D7 G
B7 Em C- C D7 G
G E7
Am....
Am
Try and see yourself in every other face
Em7 Am
Try and hear yourself in every other voice
Am
Try and find the time to listen to the silence
Em7 Am
Hmmm…Peace is the goal.
Amaj7
Whereever you go someone else will be there too.
F#m B7 D A
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
F#m B7 D A
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
F#m B7 D E7
(You don’t have to look far to see yourself…)
Am7 D
And when you finally do-
Cmaj7 D
See yourself -like what you see…
Am7 D
And when you finally do-
Cmaj7 D
See yourself - like what you see…
Gmaj7 Cmaj7 Gmaj7 Cmaj7
the Wind, the Leaves, the Tree…
F G F G
Don’t get lost. It’s easy to get lost.
F Em Dm Dm C7 Bb Bb C7 F
Don’t let them. Stop you from, Being who you are.
E7sus4 Amaj7
Who you are. (Don’t Look Far)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Bodhi Day 2010 'Metta'
I try and sit mindfully when I can. I follow my breath and notice my thoughts to the best of my abilities. When I sit, I like working these phrases into my meditations, because I feel it is an empowering way to deal with the suffering and sickness I see all around. I think it is the same as prayer, except i am not seeking any outside 'God' to do the work for me. In Buddhism this is called Metta.
So Happy Bodhi Day! ---> December 8th is the Buddhist holiday that commemorates the day that the historical Buddha, Shakyamuni or Siddhartha Gautauma, experienced enlightenment, (also known as Bodhi in Sanskrit or Pali.) According to tradition, Siddhartha had recently forsaken years of extreme ascetic practices and resolved to sit under a Pipul tree and simply meditate until he found the root of suffering, and how to liberate one's self from it.
Bodhi Day is the holiday I like to celebrate in December. For me it is not preloaded with other people’s meanings and expectations, it sits open; waiting for my traditions. Like my yearly holiday JPEG.
Those four phrases shown on the quiet scene above come from the Buddhist tradition of Metta. (different link than above)
The cultivation of loving-kindness is a popular form of meditation in Buddhism. In the Theravadin Buddhist tradition, this practice begins with the meditator cultivating loving-kindness towards themselves, then their loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all sentient beings. In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, this practice is associated with 'tonglen', whereby one breathes out ("sends") happiness and breathes in ("receives") suffering.
Metta signifies friendship and non-violence, "a strong wish for the happiness of others" and also less obvious or direct qualities such as showing patience, receptivity, and appreciation. Loving-kindness is a very specific feeling — a caring for the well-being of another living being, independent of approving or disapproving of them, or expecting anything in return. Practice includes reciting specific words and phrases in order to evoke a "boundless warm-hearted feeling," or visualizing suffering and wishing well for those beings."
I think Metta is closer to what Christ was trying to teach and accomplish than Santa Claus and the US GDP. Call me a heretic. HO Ho ho
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Compared to What?
What do you do for fun? Are you good at it? Is being good at it important to you?
Most of our lives are separated into 'packets'- work, family and ‘other’. Some are so lucky that their ‘other’ is their work, i.e they are professional snowboarders or such.
I ponder the quality of my efforts in my life endeavors. What I mean is am I a good Dad/husband? Am I a good mixer? Am I a good uke or bass player? What does it mean to be good in these activities?
As many of you know I recently bought a new Koa Tenor Ukulele from Peter Hurney at Pohaku Ukuleles. Peter was great and installed a pickup and tweaked the saddle to really dial in the sound and feel of this instrument. So I wrote him an email:
Peter makes master instruments for great players. He has many talented ukulele players performing nightly on his instruments. This is not me-I am not a great player, ….yet.
I enjoy playing and learning new chords and songs but I don’t practice the requisite 2-4 hours a day to become a ‘master’. I plan to improve but I doubt I will ever be a ‘pro’ level player. I am ok with this.
I have a number of hobbies. Playing/recording music (on both bass and ukulele), Tai Chi (both Yang and Chen styles), mountain biking/ hiking/exploring, meditating and reading/studying. This is quite a list of activities. (besides work and parenting) I think my energies are so split/ divided that I don’t improve quickly and efficiently in any one of them. Which is ok. Who am I comparing my self against? Why do I need to compare at all?
In all my hobbies the path is the goal and the practice is the prize. However my Tai Chi practice is helped compared to my other interests by two things: 1) I have a teacher who can correct my bad habits, and 2) I have a goal: To learn the whole Chen performance set, and possibly the CMAT tournament in Berkeley in the spring. Because of these two external helpers I see gradual progress in my Tai Chi studies.
I know I will never be exceptional at anything. I am content with this. I am enjoying the ride.
Years ago I learned the more you learn, the more you learn that there is more to learn….What do I have to prove?
(post script)
What about my work? Don't I have self confidence in my abilities?
In Amerika we often speak of 'Proud to be ______' (insert word.) It goes back to our 'puritan work ethic'- to take pride in endeavors. But pride comes with a cost. Here are some quotes from A View On Buddhism that I have unproudly pinched that can explain it better than me:
Most of our lives are separated into 'packets'- work, family and ‘other’. Some are so lucky that their ‘other’ is their work, i.e they are professional snowboarders or such.
I ponder the quality of my efforts in my life endeavors. What I mean is am I a good Dad/husband? Am I a good mixer? Am I a good uke or bass player? What does it mean to be good in these activities?
Looks like we always end up in a rut (everybody now!)
Tryin' to make it real — compared to what?
As many of you know I recently bought a new Koa Tenor Ukulele from Peter Hurney at Pohaku Ukuleles. Peter was great and installed a pickup and tweaked the saddle to really dial in the sound and feel of this instrument. So I wrote him an email:
“Thanks for your attention to detail and customer support! I know as I progress as a player I will never be hindered by my instrument. It's like I stand at the edge of an expansive garden waiting to be explored! His response made me laugh,” I'll believe it when I see it.”
Peter makes master instruments for great players. He has many talented ukulele players performing nightly on his instruments. This is not me-I am not a great player, ….yet.
I enjoy playing and learning new chords and songs but I don’t practice the requisite 2-4 hours a day to become a ‘master’. I plan to improve but I doubt I will ever be a ‘pro’ level player. I am ok with this.
I have a number of hobbies. Playing/recording music (on both bass and ukulele), Tai Chi (both Yang and Chen styles), mountain biking/ hiking/exploring, meditating and reading/studying. This is quite a list of activities. (besides work and parenting) I think my energies are so split/ divided that I don’t improve quickly and efficiently in any one of them. Which is ok. Who am I comparing my self against? Why do I need to compare at all?I found this quote on twitter today…."There are many paths up the mountain, but if you travel them all you will never make it to the top" (You will know the overall mountain better than sprinting to the top though.)
In all my hobbies the path is the goal and the practice is the prize. However my Tai Chi practice is helped compared to my other interests by two things: 1) I have a teacher who can correct my bad habits, and 2) I have a goal: To learn the whole Chen performance set, and possibly the CMAT tournament in Berkeley in the spring. Because of these two external helpers I see gradual progress in my Tai Chi studies.
I know I will never be exceptional at anything. I am content with this. I am enjoying the ride.
Years ago I learned the more you learn, the more you learn that there is more to learn….What do I have to prove?
(post script)
What about my work? Don't I have self confidence in my abilities?
In Amerika we often speak of 'Proud to be ______' (insert word.) It goes back to our 'puritan work ethic'- to take pride in endeavors. But pride comes with a cost. Here are some quotes from A View On Buddhism that I have unproudly pinched that can explain it better than me:
Pride is defined as an exaggerated positive evaluation of oneself, often based on a devaluation of others. It results in a kind of attachment to oneself and aversion to others.
"One of the main obstacles is our pride. This pride is an inflated state of mind and relies on our false view of the transitory collection, which focuses on the existent self, attributed to our body and mind, and distorts it. When we are on top of a very high mountain, we look down on all the lower peaks. Similarly, when we are full of pride, everyone else appears lower. We are the best and everyone else is inferior. This pride is associated with our self-preocupation and makes us act inappropriately and disrespectfully towards others, thereby bringing us face to face with all kinds of unpleasant and unwanted experiences. As long as we feel and act as through we are the center of the universe, we will never develop real concern for others. To counteract this attitude we train ourselves always to think of them as supremely important by considering their good qualities and by reviewing our own faults and weaknesses."
from 'Eight Verses for Training the Mind' by Geshe Sonam Rinchen
"Tibetans look at a person who holds himself above others, believing he is better than others and knows more, and they say that person is like someone sitting on a mountain top: it is cold there, it is hard, and nothing will grow. But if the person puts himself in a lower position, then that person is like a fertile field."
Allan Wallace
"What is like a smelly fart,
that, although invisible is obvious?
One's own faults, that are precisely
As obvious as the effort made to hide them."
His Holiness the 7th Dalai Lama in 'Songs of spiritual change' (translated by Glenn Mullin)How can you be proud if you are not enlightened?
How can you be proud if even the enlightened are not?
Stonepeace
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