The Greatest Gift

Years ago my daughter gave me a great present. It was an empty box with the word 'Time' written on the inside. I treasure this gift because, besides love, 'Time' is the most valuable thing: I believe the more time one has the more one can practice.

I actually am a very simple person. I don't need much. I am happiest when I don't have to leave the house. When I can hunker down and practice the things I love to practice: ukulele, Tai Chi, and meditation. The kids are back in school and my wife is back at work so for the past week I have been able to play ukulele 4-5 hours a day. Then I eat lunch and go for a bike ride or a hike. The hikes are into huckleberry an sibley parks and I bring my ukulele with me. (Don't worry I play quietly!)... It is nice to be walking/strumming by a stream then Stop! and let the forest sound fall around you... Delicious! 

Uh Oh: there is another looming work stoppage in professional sports --> NHL flavor this time (again)! These sporting leagues I depend on, all seem to have labor issues...strikes or lockouts- whatever--they all suck. But by now I shouldn't be surprised. An analogy would be: This is earthquake country- Be Prepared! CACA PASA!

And

In truth, I am worried. But not terrified.

It’s just something I have learned

After leaves fall they will return.

Study the seasons then night and day.

You are born - then pass away....

When it gets cold even tears turn to snow

All these are stories even you should know…..

By now!

(Lyrics to a song of mine called 'Storymon'....)

So I may have more time off like this week's on my hands this fall if the NHL continues their labor dispute.

I have a plan....

I have brushed off some of my old tunes like, “Storymon” and “Share Your Solitude” and have been tinkering with them again...(I like the process of writing. The endless turnings and prunings and listening to this chord against that one. I listen for resolution. A feeling of 'right puzzle piece in the right space' It is hard to express in words...So with these songs and other favorite covers, my goal is to sculpt a set and perform them (OUT!) in an old folks home...

(I know, very captive audience derek, ha!)... I have had to think about the correct songs for this audience... No Pink Floyd.. 'Time' (Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day...") and No 'Shine on You Crazy Diamond' (Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun, now there's a look in your eyes like black holes in the sky)... I am aiming for a more upbeat set...

This idea started with a quote I found on twitter...

Use what talent you possess:

the woods would be very silent

if no birds sang except those that sang best.

It got me thinking.... Just get out there and give what ya got. It ain't perfect, It ain't pretty -but it is me -and I should share it. I want to show my kids with my actions that it is not all about me, or us....

We shall see as the autumn passes if I wimp out and stay at home gazing into my 'room full of mirrors'....  Regardless I am blessed to be able to practice. There is so much work to do....

In the meantime, what do you practice?

P.S I have found an ukulele teacher! Curt Sheller I HIGHLY recommend him if you are loking for an online music teacher...http://curtsheller.com/MAIN.php

The Path is the Goal--The Practice is the Prize.

'The Most Difficult Choice You Will Make Today.'

'Paying Attention' implies that 'attention' has a cost. What is this cost? Perhaps 'attention' is the currency we are paying the world with?

One would think that paying attention is relatively easy. But it has never been easy, and it is getting more difficult due to the huge flux of modern distractions.

One thing I like about meditation and Tai Chi, is that these are tools to train your awareness; to sharpen the knife of noticing. When I sit following my breath I pay attention to when my mind leaves---> when I start thinking about something else besides my breath. It just happens---> 3-4 minutes go by with me thinking about other crap then I snap out of it then the 'Joy of Returning' brings me back to my breath.

There must be some evolutionary or biological basis for our ease of distraction/ lack of deep long term focus. Maybe animals who were more easily distracted noticed predators more often? And this trait survived to be passed to the next generation?.................................... What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, mindfulness/awareness....

I found this quote on twitter (so it must be true)... “The human brain can only stay focused on one task or person for 7-10 minutes before they lose our attention.”

From my experience, it seems that the majority of errors at work come from not paying attention. Just the other day, I had to 'grab a fistful' of faders when after speaking with my a2 I noticed that we were rolling a soundbite! I dove and got to it in time. No one noticed. Whew!

Mixers have to be able to listen to many items at once. We must listen through what's on program to hear cues.... We are like a dog that jumps at its name...It is part of the job. But even with all the sound sources/ stuff going on, I sometimes check my email or look at a text from my wife or A2. Inexplicably, It is like I seek out the distraction. ---> It changes depending on the sport. Baseball with it's meandering pace and layover days lends itself to distraction. Hockey not so much, (for me at least.) When KICU used to broadcast the A's I used to cue up ASCAP music to bump to break with at the same time I was mixing a game. After CSN took over full time, I missed the extra action/ extra stimulus, I needed a certain level of 'busyness'. Now I try to remember to just sit back, breath, and enjoy where I am.

We are all very skilled at our jobs of choice. And part of these skills is being able to react quickly. It just seems the internet has become so ingrained in our lives that it is always there,calling like a Siren from the Odyssey waiting to lure us to certain death against the sharp rocks. 

 

We have to train ourselves to stay focused. (camera pun intended) For camera operators have their own set of distractions besides the internet/phones/laptops. They have all those faces/bodies luring them away from presence. Plus blaring P.A.s and peanut throwing fans...Each discipline has its set of things to pay attention to/ignore.

Distraction is not going anywhere. We have to learn to notice when our gaze/awareness leaves what we are getting paid to do.... We are there physically, the goal is to stay there mentally as well... In my opinion, we owe it to the clients.

Again this awareness of what we are actually doing, pulls back up to a wider panorama of our lives: be aware of what you are eating, be aware of what your kids are saying to you, be aware of why someone/YOU might be upset, be aware of other cars/drivers,...give the world the gift of your awareness-- to the best of your abilities.

Where we focus our awareness is a choice. We can choose to be focused and present or we can be floating elsewhere---> moving furniture around the Theater of the Mind.

In closing, Sharon Salzberg defines Buddhism in 7 words: 'Everything is connected. Everything changes. Pay attention.'

Thanks for your time,

derek

'Sh*t Happens' on live broadcasts. We don't always have time to vent away the tension and clenched up moments of a show...The game is continuing and we need to keep transparently documenting what is occurring... That said.....

Without health we have nothing. You can have a huge house with a bank full of cash, but if you feel ill/miserable it doesn't matter... you just want to fell better, no matter what it takes...

Here is a story in a typical day for a live TV mixer....

The SAP open last weekend in San Jose was a typical live television event. We were televising two different matches one at 1:30 and one at 7. The 1:30 game was progressing along it's predetermined path. Game ends and it is time for the postgame interview. We are preparing for Raj Mattei to interview the winning player. This interview is also going to feed the house PA so all the in-house fans can hear it as well. We have had feedback issues with postgame interviews before (during the sharks) so we use one of the in-house wireless mics (They set it up, we just get a feed of that microphone). We faxed it before the game and it worked fine. ---> Well it didn't work for this interview. The a2 had the mic on but somehow in its signal flow it wasn't reaching me. I have to let the director and producer know it is not working while simultaneously telling the a2 to go to the hardlined backup. We decide to throw to break so I have to track the theme music and close the announcer mics while I am scrambling to get this microphone snafu sorted out. BLAH!!!! Once back from break, the transition to the interview actually went pretty smooth, and I didn't panic, but one can see how this type of event can lead to stress.

So where does all that knotted stomach energy go? Do we swallow it? What then? It has been scientifically proven that stress will shorten our lives. It lowers your immunity and increases our chances of getting sick.

The long-term activation of the stress-response system — and the subsequent overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones — can disrupt almost all your body's processes. This puts you at increased risk of numerous health problems, including:

• Heart disease
• Sleep problems
• Digestive problems
• Depression
• Obesity
• Memory impairment
• Worsening of skin conditions, such as eczema
  

(from --Stress: Constant stress puts your health at risk)

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/SR00001

What we have to do is find individual tools that work for us and help us keep relaxed. (Truthfully, I feel this is the real goal of the world's religions, but that is another story.)

Everyone will be different. Here are some of the methods I use:

1. First off notice what tension feels like in your body when you are getting stressed---> (My belly tightens up in a knot.) Once we notice these sensations we can A)Tell ourselves to relax. Then B) Be relaxed. C) Meditate. D) Store what being relaxed feels like inside of you. Remember that feeling later.

2. Exercise.... (Check out this link on High Intensity Interval Training. ' How little exercise do we need?' http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/15/how-1-minute-intervals-can-improve-our-health/ )

3. Use slogans like...“Where ever you are, be glad you are there.” ...Buddha Quote #118

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.

4. Smile as often as you can ---> “Fake it til you make it”

5. Work as few days a month as is financially possible for you.

6. At home, find things to practice and repeat them. (Ukulele, Tai Chi....whatever floats your personal boat...)

7. For the lunch break, Eat Alone, If you can. (Surrounded by voices it is good to clear your head and ears. Eating alone also lends itself to mindful eating...(not that I always succeed at this...))

8. Be prepared!... (Ask for, then read show open formats...find out which truck you will be mixing on...what console is on that truck....who is directing/producing. Don't be caught off guard... Also show up early (this reduces the stress of traffic) and bring food, (in case you don't get a meal...)

9. On your days off, go outside away from humans. (If you can)... Look at the stars and/or rivers...

10. At home play with your kids/dog/cat...They don't give a sh*t about your crappy day. Be present to them. Give them your time when they want your attention... Also take your wife/partner out on a date once in a while, they take the brunt of our shitstorms, might as well thank them too.

11. “You Don't Have to Look Far to See Yourself” Everyone else has stressful lives as much if not more than yours....Be them for a moment.... (I learned this during my two summer stint in the taperoom....)

12. Turn down the volume in your sound cave. (as often as possible) Loud sounds trigger stress reactions.... (It is also a good way to check the balances in your mix....)

13. 'Hey Mr DJ'... Read the vibe of the truck and yourself, listen to the overall mood. If the truck (and/or YOU) is overly keyed up play mellow/Feel Good music... I like Bill Evans/Vince Guaraldi/Andre Segovia/Bob Marley/Toots and the Maytals.

I have collected some other stress management responses from our friends and co-workers.

What tools do you use?...

Rom Rosenblum:

1)      The first thing that comes to mind is the old mantra: As bad as this PF is, there will be a WAY worse one down the road. 

2)      Another one is:  In ten years, I’ll never remember this day happened. (As I get older, I’ve amended that to “next year” instead of “10 years from now”. I don’t know if it’s my experience telling me that we flush out the bad stuff fast, or my belief that I won’t remember ANYTHING in ten years… not sure which).

3)      As a life-traveler with miles of family health issues, putting up with the vicissitudes of raising a kid, and the normal day to day crap we all have to put up with, and though I DO REALLY CARE how the gig goes, it’s just TV…they wouldn’t have made it so a 3 year-old could turn it off if it was that important, despite what we all think about our investment of self worth in this business.

4)      Even though we don’t keep the pictures we used to display all over the console, I do have mental images of them and remit my thoughts to those images, when getting into the quicksand that can take you down in a gig…Bob bitching about his IFB (Jim B.doesn’t faze me anymore LOL) or a module going crazy…then the peptic acid releases and panic ensues…then I close my eyes for a nanosecond, and remember holding Avi in one hand on that first day…NOW I can fix the issue.

Sean Larrett:

We work in a job that many people consider stressful. I have on many occasions been racing against the clock to complete complex tasks while someone is trying to accelerate that process by screaming at me. The good news is that I personally do not consider this job to be stressful in contrast to many other professions. In fact, I have begun to reconsider that notion a bit as I cope with high blood pressure and (perhaps) premature gray hair. But I digress.

I think the key for me to keeping work from being overwhelming is understanding my relationship with failure. Whatever stress I feel is usually a result of my being afraid to fail.  In these cases, it helps to put things in perspective. It sounds cliché, but at the end of the day, no one's life depends on my being able to build a :30 second rollout in time for the end of the show. I think that it's important to bear in mind that life's journey contains some wonderful things as well as some awful things, and there's no escaping that. I am confident that I will have to live with truly agonizing moments in my life, and also confident that none of these are likely to occur as a result of my inability to perform at my job during a telecast.

I have to be realistic about my relationship with failure as well: too much of it and I can lose my place in what is regarded as a competitive business. But I feel that with a solid foundation of professionalism and knowing that I try to give my best at work, I can tolerate whatever amount of inadequacy I may bring to the table without feeling panic-inducing levels of stress.

One thing I find can occasionally reduce stress is to fine tune my sense of empathy. There are individuals in positions of leadership  that we work with who use unacceptable language and intimidation when trying to get their messages across, but by and large I think that is a rarity. Mostly, the leaders (producers, directors, etc.) we work with are highly motivated to get a good show on the air, and when it seems like they are being curt/harsh/impolite with us, it's often because they can't deal with the stress themselves. When someone is "yelling at me," I try to listen for fear, stress, and insecurity in the voice of the so-called screamer. If I can hear that (which I most often do), it gives me motivation to help soothe this stressed person and prevents me from taking things personally. 

Sean Maddison...

I would actually say the single biggest factor in maintaining my mental stability in the live TV world is physical health.   Exercise is a enormous stress neutralizer for me.   Exercising on the morning of a game day has a major effect on my ability to effectively manage the various and many tasks that pile up prior to a broadcast.    And once we hit air,  my ability to make decisions on the fly is impacted by how clear my brain is when we go "live".    

Just as important as getting in a morning run is preparation.  The more I prepare, the more I review materials, the less brain power I have to spend on the general "BS" during a show, thus leaving what brain cells I have remaining to soak in the game, and make creative and logical decisions in real time.   We all know there is an extraordinary amount of preparation and preproduction prior to a show, much of which never directly shows up on air.    However, it is that very work that minimizes stress once the show begins, and allows for the overall greater good of the show.

Jim Armintrout

I think the biggest thing that any of us can do is be prepared. As a Producer I remember many long nights between the end of one baseball or hockey game and the start of the next. If I felt as prepared as possible regarding the building I'd be working in, the crew I'd be working with, and the teams I'd be covering, then I could get to the site, put the plan into action and enjoy the crazy swirl of setup, prepro, and the game itself as it took shape. If any of those areas were not covered it would be a recipe for a stressful day.

It's the same with Directing - knowing the place, the people and the teams gives you the ability to focus on the day and game as it unfolds moment to moment. A well laid plan is going to have hiccups; it's inevitable. But if you're as prepared as you can be then you find them much easier to deal with.

Once you are fully prepared, your emotional approach to the particular day is the next thing. We work for a living watching sports and putting them on TV for others to watch. We really don't have a lot to complain about, as compared, say, to almost anything you could do for a living.

So an optimistic spirit and an ability to let the "difficulties" of the job go by with a smile instead of a gripe is huge.

But trust me I know there are a lot of people out there (Tom Adza? Rick Ratusz? Jim Lynch?) who lived with me having a less than "perfectly positive" attitude at times, and while it's probably too late to issue a meaningful apology for those incidents, I can only hope that the next time we work together I'll take my own advice and prepare, relax, and enjoy.

Don't postpone relaxation....

Good Luck Friends.....

Breathe....

With Love and Aloha (as I understand it),

Derek

And Finally a look at job stress from a friend who has a truly stressful job, Doug Young, -- Fire Captain in Santa Clara...

Hi Derek-  This is an important subject and if ignored can also lead to  unhealthy relationships at home with spouses and kids alike.   I think what ever you do in life, stress happens and it's how you process it and recover from it.  After reading a bunch of articles over time, this one hits it on the head because it talks about how firefighters either bring it home or leave it at work.

http://firechief.com/mag/firefighting_balance_two_families/

  There is definitely a different mentality of firefighters and how they deal with some of the stuff we see at work and how it integrates in our minds and spirits away from work.  However, stress, I believe, is the same whether you are firefighting, racing a deadline or raising kids. Raising 3 kids, I must say, can be equally as challenging for body, mind and soul.  If you are conscious in raising kids, this can be even more exhausting as it is 'never ending and always changing.' One of our guys who was a Navy Seal before becoming a Firefighter once said that being a good parent was actually more difficult than some of his past Seal work. 

     I've always told people that emergency work is exciting because, like that company that tries to make the 1/2 hr. mark in delivering pizzas, we try to solve people's emergencies in 30 minutes or less:). What makes it successful for my guys is that we try not to take anything personally.  It wasn't our fault that the house caught on fire, grandma had a heart attack or someone got in a vehicle accident.  We are just there to fix the problem.  This gets difficult with bad kid calls.  All my guys have young kids and the kids we see who are in need of our emergency work, all remind us of our  own at times.  I think we just approach things systematically, and try, try , try to empathize but not internalize.  And give our kid a big hug we get home the next day. 

     I'm pretty lucky,  at my firehouse, my guys are all over 40 with no will for making things more dramatic than it should be.  They know the importance of working out daily or x2 daily, eating right and finding the humor in each other and life around us.  We laugh a lot at work- at ourselves and each other.  We know work is tough sometimes so, we figure, we might as well enjoy each others company.  Because we are a tight knit group, we stop and help each other when we are down emotionally.  We vent a lot about management, family and bad calls sometimes but, like a responsible friend, we vent and then try to find our inner peace because we all know that we don't want to share the day with someone with bad energy.  Sometimes, if one of us is having a difficult day, we give the guy more 'room' and less responsibility.  As a fire officer, sometimes, my guys want to do more because it keeps their minds off the stressor. I honor that but keep an eye on how they are processing the day.   It's easy to say, " Don't bring your home life stress to work, " but life happens and we know if we help each other out, the guy who is stressing will be able to make better decisions on the job. Sometimes it is all about making the guy and the whole crew laugh a lot that day.  Sometimes it is about letting the guy vent- we all feel better when we feel we have a listening but not judging ear.  A lot of times the guy having a bad day, actually tells us 'Thanks' for the great day . I hope this helps.  Sounds like a great topic for an article.

Sincerely,

Doug

Many Words only One Water.

 So on the first day of the University of Wonder, Sage, Bodhi and I started writing down words which described the forms of water. Here is that list divided into the three stages of water, Liquid, Solid and Gas. Read through them and see if we have missed anything.

Writing this list has been an edutaining process, for water is omnipresent and words to describe it are everywhere. Sage, the budding lawyer and I have had many 'discussions' on  where a particular water word falls into this list. A good example is 'mud'. When does 'Bayou' become 'mud'? When does a 'Delta' become a 'Marsh'?

All these words of water are 'Sequentially Simultaneous'. The Stream is the Sea is the Cloud is the Rain. It is just like the First Chapter of the Tao De Ching...The 'Depth' and the 'Surface' are the same thing, it is only words which make them seem different.

Liquid

Dew
Flood
Rogue wave
Channel
Sound
Tide pool
Tsunami
Rain
Spring
Geyser
Bay
Wave
River
Stream
Brook
Puddle
Gulf
Strait
Whirlpool
Standing wave
Pool
Bog
Swamp
Marsh
Eddy
Aquaduct
Inlet
Cove
Canal
Estuary
Dribble
Spray
Squirt
Rapid
Reservoir
Rivulet
Delta
Ripple
Drizzle
Lake
Ocean
Sea
Pond
Drop
Dripping
Creek
Waterfall
Vernal pool
Slough
Bayou
Fjord
Ria

Solid
Ice
White out
Snow
Ice floe
Ice block
Ice pack
Ice berg
Icecap
Glacier
Blizzard
Permafrost
Snowflake
Slush
Black ice
Sleet
Frost
Icicle
Hail

Gas
Humid/humidity
Mist
Freezing fog
Steam
Fog
Clouds
Condensation
Evaporation
Vapor

Questionable
Wetlands?
Riparian zone?
Mud?
Brackish?
Erosion?
Smog?
Vog?
Mudslide?
Foam?
Sea foam?
Bubble?
A dream of water?

The University of Wonder

Suggested Reading...

The University of Wonder

Last summer I got civilized. I was lucky to have 90% of my work be just Oakland A’s broadcasts. Generally, this gave me one week on, then one week off. I used these blocks of time to exercise and create.

To save money this year, Edie didn’t book camps for the kids on some of the weeks I have off. At first I was like, “UGH! My ‘me’ time!” Then I came home from an A’s game on the third of July and the house was empty. Edie and the kids were out at my Ma’s house in Danville for the early morning parade on the 4th. Suddenly I had a whole evening of ‘me’ time, and I missed the kids. Then I realized soon enough they won’t want to spend anytime with me at all.

So I decided to turn how I thought about my ‘me’ time around and look at it another way. Here is an opportunity to set up a free form learning path modeled on a university. I printed up student ID cards and have structured my required reading list, syllabus and core curriculum.

The theme is Water.

The University of Wonder mission statement reads thus:

“Learn Like A River”

 The flow of learning is like water. It occurs in every moment and every interaction; just notice it and play with it.

Like a river there is no teacher, only collaborators and the current. What do you want to learn?

Founding Principles of this university:

1. FUN/play
2. art/ visual expression
3. physical activity
4. insight/awareness
5. science/pollution/electricity/physics
6. writing-poetry
7. philosophy/spirit

Some topics I want to cover are:

1.The nature of water, how does it work?
2. How is water represented in art.
3.How is water used in architecture ? Why?
4.Write a report on your favorite type of water or aspect of water- include poetry in your essays.
5. How is water represented in the Tao Te Ching?

Schedule:

July 11
First class 9am
Theme:refraction
Read chapter 8 Tao De Ching
Albany Bulb Walk--Spraypainting
Saul’s deli
Cement slide with squirt guns
Swim class @4


July 12
First class 9am
 Aqua Adventure Fremont 11am
Theme :hydrodynamics
 Tao De Ching concept:
 Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.

July 13
Theme: Animals and water
Tao De ching concept: Water symbolizes "finding" a way - a way that was there prior to the water flowing into it and one that is further shaped by the water's flow. Water doesn't fight things, it conforms to them and finds it's way.
Little Farm /jewel lake--Tilden Park
Ducks, turtles frogs
(How is water used on a working farm?)
watercolor and poetry

July 14
Theme: historical representations of water in art and architecture.
San Francisco Day. 
Tao te ching quote chapter 15
Stow lake rowboats, Japanese tea garden. Asian art museum

July 15
Free form art and essays.
Theme : what are the properties of water, besides ‘wet’
Derek works A’s @ 1

July 18
---end of Berkeley Family camp: Is the weekend a sabbatical on the Tuolumne river?
Read Tao Te Ching chapter 76

July 19
playdate with friends of the students- no plans
Read Tao Te Ching Chapter 78

July 20
 Derek works Earthquake soccer at night
Tao De Ching quote: Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them-that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Open art and science in morning.


july 21
Tao Te Ching concept:...Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.
last day of school!
All reports, science experiments and art is due!
Congrats to the grads!

All of this is very ambitious, I know. I want to instill the notion that the university is a place where you decide what you want to learn, and the results you reap are directly related to what you put into your studies.  If one studies hard, one has the opportunity to really learn. --->I say swim in the joy of learning while the water is still deep enough. --->There are many years after the university is done to fuck off.

When I was a student at UCSC, there was a sign on Morrisey Blvd in Santa Cruz just as you exited the freeway. It read, “Water is life, don’t waste it’. The same can be said for learning.








chapter 8 Tao De Ching

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It flows to low places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it is like the Tao.
Live in accordance with the nature of things.
In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In ruling be just.
In action, watch the timing
No fight: No blame
One who lives in accordance with nature
does not go against the way of things.
He moves in harmony with the present moment,
always knowing the truth of just what to do.

Tao te ching quote chapter 15

The sages of old were so deep,
no one could fathom them.
Because their minds were beyond understanding, we must be content with describing their appearance.

Careful, like crossing a frozen stream
Aware, as though watching all around
Courteous, like a polite guest
Yielding, like ice on the verge of melting
Simple, like an uncarved block of wood.
Open, like a broad valley
Turbid, like muddy water.

Remain calm, and even muddy water becomes clear.
Remain still, and movement brings you to life.
One who follows the Way does not wish to be always full;
For this reason he can pass through exhaustion and be replenished.

Tao Te Ching chapter 76:

     When people are born they are gentle and soft.
    At death they are hard and stiff.
    When plants are alive they are soft and delicate.
    When they die, they wither and dry up.
    Therefore the hard and stiff are followers of death.
    The gentle and soft are the followers of life.
    Thus, if you are aggressive and stiff, you won't win.
    When a tree is hard enough, it is cut. Therefore
    The hard and stiff are lesser,
    The gentle and soft are greater.

Tao Te Ching chapter 78:

     Nothing in the world is softer than water,
    Yet nothing is better at overcoming the hard and strong.
    This is because nothing can alter it.
    That the soft overcomes the hard
    And the gentle overcomes the aggressive
    Is something that everybody knows
    But none can do themselves.
    Therefore the sages say:
    "The one who accepts the dirt of the state
    Becomes its master.
    The one who accepts its calamity
    Becomes king of the world.
    Truth seems contradictory.
  

Random Local Insects

Again it comes down to process…

A few days ago, I posted on facebook, my new favorite band name, ‘Nougat!’ It was just one word and had a nice ring. I am always thinking these things up. My friend Matt Delaney, commented about a band name “Strap On Jesus” this got me remembering this long list of band names called RANDOM LOCAL INSECTS. (Some of you will remember it was first published in a book of poems I ‘released’ in 1992 called ‘VENT’.)

It was compiled during my later years living in Santa Cruz. It worked like this: My buddies and I would go to a drunken party and ask people, “If you had a band, what would you call it?” In a slur people would start rattling them off, quickly, I started writing them down on whatever I could find. I went home and entered them in Macwrite- an ancient word processing program. (So old, I couldn’t open the document to republish here!) (When will all our data become unreadable when the programs that created them are long gone?—Another blog post for this I guess.)

Many of these band names reflect the intoxicated state college students normally inhabit. Many are rude and immature. Some also reflect the contemporary news and other worldly events. “7.2” refers to the magnitude of the 1989 Loma Prieta quake- for example.

As I read through them I am transported back to those bike rides and body surfing infused days. AH, Santa Cruz!

Here is my original intro:

Regardless of how a band finally settles on a name, some band names are better than others.  Everything has to do with it.
    What I have tapped into is a strange symptom of America; many people, even people who are not musicians, create fictitious band names. Someone says “Did you see those Morman Bikers go by?,” and someone  else goes, “Wait!, that’d be a great band name!” And thus a band name is born.
   
Enjoy! They are free to be use.


1.Random Local Insects
2.Chimichunga and the Tostadas
3.The Cool Cheeses
4.The Jimmy Tomorrows
5.Big Toof
6.Slamdancecosmopolos
7.The Comptones
8.Suck My Fuck
9.The 47th One
10.Slow Children At Play
11.Fred Sanford Quintet
12.The Soup
13.The Humorous Fluids
14.The Family Dog
15.Cinderella’s Pizza
16.Zeus’ Muses
17.Biff Malibu and the Shredded  Sticks
18.Sample This Franklin
19.The Fahrvegnugeners
20.All Meat Marvel
21.The I Don’t Know
22.I Forget
23.The Chemicals of Modern Wonders
24.Pion me
25.Bleeding Zit
26.Millicent
27.The Bernie Getz Experience
28.Titus Crow
29.Beer Atom and the Pizza Particles
30.Spastic Children’s Fund
31.axelrod
32. 8th Ave. Squatters
33.of
34.Andrew Atom and the Pizza Particles
35.The Imbuddhable Masses
36.Radiation Creation
37.Gigi’s Love
38.Black Milk
39.The Configurations
40.The Abysmal Rectangles
41.Strap On Jehovah
42.The Dark Distance
43.So Alone
44.The Pbbbbbbbt!
45.A Whole In the Soul
46.Thick Spliff And The Burners
47.The Rummies
48.Indian Summer
49.Indigenous Harmonies
50.Scrabini and the Flying Garbonza Bros.
51.Snake Butt
52.Mass Media Mind Fuck
53.Psychotic Pineapple
54.The Mighty Sphincters
55.The Randy Peckers (country)
56.Decapitated Armadted Armadted Armad
 57.Night Blooming Jazzmen
58.Morman Bikers
59.Ai Ai Ai!!!
60.Peaceful Doorknobs
61.The Peter Pumpkin Principle
62.My Dinner with Anieda Hall
63.New Age Underwear
64.The Anthropormorphized Fruits
65. Blazing Phalluses
66.Bad Rabbit
67.Lampshade Conspiracy
68.Clarence Thomas’ Penis
69.Baby Sitters in Jail
70.The Square Tomatoes
71.The Stackable Cows
72.Stoic Chinese Waiters
73.People Making Noise
74.Five Guys Named Moe
75.Me, Danny, Mitch, and Mikey
76.The Virtuous Herbs
77.Cakes in the Home
78. 7.2
79.Boom Boom Bap
80.The Seeminglys
81.Lee Atwater’s Death Bed
82.Strange Beautiful
83.Da Barrelhouse Buddhaband
84.The Meat Trees
85.The Living Brezhnevs
86.The Liquid Clarks
87.Attempted Mustasche
88.Some Chicken 8kin
89.Painful Rectal Itch
90.Removable Limbs
91.The Meesh Injectors
92.The Crawdads of Pure Love
93.Your Face and a Jackass
94.Lovebitch
95.Deathcamp Lettuce
96.Anal Snacks
97.Glory Hole
98.Stink Bomb
99.The Knobs
100.Pacaderm Squirm
101.Monkey Spank
102.Lady Finger
103.“Fear of Vomit”
104.Lung Butter
105.A Piece of God’s Ash
106.Bardo
107.Catch a Fire
108.Fuckin’ Mackin’ Stem
109.The Dan Tones
110.Monks On Psycedelics
111.The Turd Polishers
112.Snaggle-Tooth Thought(0r Slot) Machine
113.the stupid to the sublime
114.Communal Mind
115.Toots Mayhem and the Vague Bananas
116.Media Circus
117.Third Stone
118.Spiritual Funk/ Spiritual Head
119.Snorkel of Glory
120.Post Hydrolic Comprimise
121.Five Toyotas of Hell
122.Malus
123.Neil Horse
124.Mantis
125.Miracle WhipKings
127.Analingus
128.Plume of Death
129.The Outer Sky
130.Black Sabbatical
131.Three at Last
132.Grungy Fucking Hippies
133.Dry Spell
134.Chogi Honkers
135.The Metaphysical Midgets
136. The Dizzy Gelesbians
137. Caucasion Blues Coalition
138.Female Oil of Glory
126.The Connie Chung Wrestlers!
139. Pre-maddona
140. I Think I Might Be Allergic to Cinnamon
141.Puck and Tatter
142.C+ Bukowski
143.Gastrapods R Us
144.Dolphee
145. Big Stew
146. Mead
147. Fucking Majestic
148. King of the Spiders
149. Miscarrige
150.The Clue
160.Womb Tomb
161. Flaccid Tubesteak
162.We Looked Cute Together
163. The Marketable Experiences
164. Adam’s Butt
165. shit fuck
166.The Roots of Souud
167.Cow Wicker Kook
168.Dripping Mary
169.Free Beer
170.Oi Vey!
171.Semantic Residue
172.Premnath
173..........Beer
 174..Love Doesn’t Wear Shoes
174.Scratch It ‘Til It Hurts
175.The Self-Righteous Warthogs
176. War-On-Drugs Haircut
177. Primer Gray Erection
!78 . God’s Cock
179. Tampon
180. Icy Toke
181. Breakfast of Infamy
182. The Wacky Bobs
183. Bonghits To Oblivion
184. Cunt of Humanity
185. The Ultimate Losers
186. We Do Weddings
187. The Council of Greedy Executives
188. Maddona Pap Smear
189. The Stillborns
190. Modality
191. 6
192. Bi-Treasonal Fabrications
193. MK Ultra
194. Stoned Immaculate
195. clean fresh scent
196. Fruitcake Saliva
197. The Pure Cane Sugars
198. icepick undertow
199. suseJ
200. only only
201. Poki-Dharma and the Annacondas
202. 5 Dead Horses
203. Fetch
204. Suburban Propane
205. Toxic Fuck
206. Fickle Bliss
207. Farm Accident
208. Chef D in the Mouse Infected Kitchen
209. en
209. The Ixed Nizzles
210. Seven
211. Quaalude Thunder
212. The Rythmic Beds
213. Spork Spockman
214. The 1/4 Tone Nelsons
215. Wiggly Grooves
216. The Flat Fives
217. Orthostatic Hypotension
218. Bowel and Bladder (B&B)
219. Raw Honey
220. The Itchy Bites
221. Buddha and the Turtles
222. The Total Queebs
223. Bluish Skin Color
224. Love and Coconuts
225. Heartpain
226. Nevermind
227. Suns of Wang
228. Irregular Heartbeat
229. Profuse Sweating
230. Mooncat
231. Bubonic Tooth
232. Thrinity
233. Cradle Cap
234. Mr. Softy
235. Magnificent Fester
236. Baby Jesus Stick
237. Apostle on a Pole
238. Ripchord
239. The Scumbuckets
240. Blood and Cum in a Petri Dish
241. The Clostomy Bags
242. Diapers of Dew
243. EarwaxOi Vey!
244. Don’t Be Sad
245. The Endless Edges
246. Tall Saul and the Astrals
247. Just Look At You
248. All Of The Above
249. Waltzing Matilda
250. John is an Experiencer
251. Quayle Ewdee Ewde Next?
256. Iron Butt Plug
257. Chuckle Love Pie
258. Illegal Emotions
258. Squirmin’ Pit ‘O’ Girls
259. Perry Ferrel’s Grandchild
260. Gumball Machine
261. Flouresenct Light Fixtures
262. Pizzas, Pumpkin Pie and Piss
263. Cello Vecks
264. The Shop Crasters
265. Chicken Hawk
266. Fury Things
267. Sunset Crack of Gumdrop
268. Fuck Me I’m Rich
269. Roll A Bum
270. Split Infinitives
271. Burnt Toast
272. Talk About Reference
273. The Crazy Prophets
274. Untits
282. Plus Special Guest
283. Get Lost
284. The Imbedded Himself
285. The Impacted Painful Things
286. Meager Existence
287. I Don’t Do Bananas
288. The Galactic Masters and the Numbers of  Destiny                                          
289. Her Hand Was Her Husband
290. The Pale Blue Riders
291. Piranafish Cowboy
292. Sold Out
293. The Schizophrenic Buddhists
294. Heritage Music
295. The Knives of Science
296. *The Sandwich Ate
297. House of Wreckers
298. Molly in Lingerie
299. The Yak
300. Eagle Flower (or Eagle Flour )
301. Stinky Water
302. Flaccid Ashbak
303. Nuclear Scope
304. Freaktet
305. King Poo
306. Cheese Soda
307. Fat Stag
308. Leather Feather
309. Kim’s Neck
310. Too Good To Be True
311.  Spoons
312. Stem On This
313. Cults of Highway 9
314. Virtual Earth
315. The Metro-gnomes of Life
316. Joy Thru Movement
317. Sultans of Swill
318. On Time
319. Hey You Little Poo!! (HYLP)
320. Stool, Neck, and Lively
321. Cookies Are Yes
322. Honey on the Razor Blade
323. The Philosophical Doughnuts
324. Milk Mustache
325. Bigfoot Expedition
326. gasm
327. Bak La Va Crust
328. Go Steve!
329. Nude Women In Clothing
330. Yeah Now
331. Petroleum By-Products
332. Elvis Eggnog
333. tumble dry M
334. Patience
335. Some Kinda Adhesive
336. Turn
337. Apoconapse
338. Da Kind Music
339. Sphere Sucker
340. Heavy Band
341. Sperm Sucker
342. Sasparillas
343. My Dad’s Last Schaffer
344. Wedding Season
345. See What I Mean?
346. What I Mean?
346. Acoustic Mayhem
347. aBANDonment
348. Caca Pasa
349. Schlong
350. I Wouldn’t
351. Barbara Giffen
352. The  yrhgweub
353. The Unavoidable Third Eye
354. The Sexual Tensions
355. Leather Messiah
356. The Creatures of Terrible Subtlety
357. Nancy Reagan’s Thing Thang
358. The Inevitable
359. Vulcan Mind-Meld
360. Sincere Sensation
361. Slightly White
362. Negative Capability
363. Pinner Cloud
364. Stink Finger
365. The Cosmic Space Junk Quartet
366. Smoke
367. The Robitussons
368. Sisterettes and Brotherettes
369. Prong
370. Hell Mutt
371. Funkity
372. Look C
373. Cliff Burton’s Ghost
374. Poke Smot
375. Vegan Death Squeal (or Squad)
376. JXK
377. Major Leg
378. Cryogenic Fluids
379. Your Mama!
380. 525 in America
381. The Dhance of Complete Surrender
382. Chewy Noughat
383. Butt Nuggets
384. Hock a Lugie
385. Mungee
386. Dry Sockeeee
387. Spontaneous Combustion
388. Dog Tongue
389. The Cat’s Pajamas
390. Black Velvet Futility
391. The Salads of Despair
392. Gore Point
393. The Blue Meanies
394. Unsanitary Kitchen
395. Sizzling Urine Sticks
396. The Cheeky Monkeys
397. Kiss My Eyes
398. Full Moon Tan
399. The Carnivorous Cows
400. Smog Cafe
401. Mrs. BugFree
402. Nope
403.Tintin In Oakland
404. Fucking Cunthole Spoofheads
405. Brothers of the Blue T
406. Giblets
407. Elsie In The Field
408. Joe Joe and the 7 Dwarves
409. Greenhouse of Fear
410. Zones Normal
411. IRK
412. The Silver Spoons
413. Flourescent Green Phlem
414. The Bettys
415. The Mucous Membranes
416. Essence
417. Known In Bakersfield
418. Screaming Yellow Zonkers
419. Seulemat Deux
420. This Is Us
421. Siddiqi
422. The Signifigant Others
423. Sound Barrier
424. Stricken With The Palsy
425. The 7 Horsemen of the Apocolapse
426. Gerbil Hemoroids
427. My Earth
428. Famous
429. Alot of Confusion
430. Best Boy Electric
431. Live Music
432. Welfare Frog
433. The Paranoids
434. Sick Dick and the Volkswagens
435. The Bad Habits
436.Speacil Sauce
437. The Fruit Loops
438. The Pilgrims
439.The Imbuddhable Mass
440. Freeze Dryed Water
441. El Nino
442. Hyperbolic Tangent
443. Ontogony Recapitulates Phylogeny
444. The 3 Toed Sloths
445. Ruby Slippers
446. Skinned Knee
447. Disruption
448. Dickin’ Jane
449. Ole Fezzywig
450. Schalac That
451. Seriously Looped
452. Funk and Racket
453. The Wet Housewives
454. It’s In The Oven
455. Stinky Underfoot
456. Proctol Harem
457. Funk Finger
458. For Whom The Taco Bell Tolls
459. Spot 1000
460. The Circles of Intoxication
461. Angelless  Awareness
462. Master Vagrant
463. Opesle Masses. Famous
429. Alot of Confusion
430. Best Boy Electric
431. Live Music
432. Welfare Frog
433. The Paranoids
434. Sick Dick and the Volkswagens
435. The Bad
433. The Paranoids
434. Sick Dick and the Volkswagens
435. The Bad Habits
436.Speacil Sauce
437. The Fruit Loops
438. The Pilgrims
439.The Imbuddable Massesen Casket
464. 120 X
465. Extra Show Added
466. All Seats Reserved
467. Korsakoff
468. Stairway To Nowhere
469. Vicious Felacios
470. Incision
471. The Corporate Pig Fuckers
472. Slacker Food Chain
473. The Sonic Drifters
474. Hotel Freedom
475. Titia
476. The Tits of Heavan
477. The Interstellar Burnouts
478. The Cantankerous Jews
479. The Near Ones
480. Alameda County Death Cult
481. Arbeit Macht Frei
482. Swamp Wench
483. Mein Kampf
484. ‘MM’ Good
485. The New Geometrics
486. The Flying Rats
487. Irielip Übmensch
488. Nipples Malone, Gangster of Love
489. The Rippin’ Nipples
490. The Absolute Polygons of Virtue
491. The Brindle Cats
492. Ancient Dog
493. I Hate Almost Everybody
494. The White-Skinned Blacks
495. My Uncle Was A Nazi, But I Like To Drink Tea
496.The Situation
497. Asphalt Avenger
498. Skeleton Key
499. Scheiss Haus
500. Nectar of Grace
501. Stinky McPherson and the Whistling Mon T
502.The Latern of Imaginings
503. Egb
504. Brothers of the Same Mind
505. Doctor Maximus
506. King Mahmud and the Beans
507“It Ain’t No Good, ‘Les Ya Play Wit It”
508. Don’t Happy Be Worry
509.Kali-Dasa
510. The Celestial Apples
511. The Emanations
512. Glass Candy
513. TCB Sa Mellah
514. The Italian Putzes
515. Iky Tway
516.Molten Love
517. Eagle’s Wing
518. A Flower Named Blue
519. Venus Witch’s Ring
520. Alles Falsch
521. Ludwig 26
522. Phunk Taxi
523. Social Graffitti
524. Chronic Flatuence
525. Floating Liquid Gardens.
526. Squash
527. The Hiccups
528. Grass
529. Infinite Repose
530. Zen My Left Nut
531. Burning Sensation
532. Jug and Deff
533. Androgenous Kitten
534. Shag
535. The Protein Shakes
536. (Wow! I’ve Got a) Buttitch
537.  Crotch Rot
538. The Sticky Toilettes
539. Kanichiwah
540. The Nasty Grandmothers
541. Wild But Sensitive
542. Dogsnatch
543. Pope Randy
544. Suck The Jam
545.Velveetaoon Travelers
546. Working Burrito
547. Diana Ross’ Illegitimate Children
548. Trip Out
549. Smell Me
550. We’re Buried In Grant’s Tomb
551. Musty Crutch
552. Void Where Prohibited
553. Nuclear Mercenaries
554. A Cup a Fuck
555. Groovy Furniture
556. Conspiraccy A Go-Go
557. The True Nelsons
558. Tough Enough 4 Alaska
559. 100% Columbian
560. Overdose
561. The Duracells
562. O Mighty Isis
563. The Bears Of Indecision
564. ____ and the Power Tools
565. Top Ramen
566. The Jolly Green Giant’s Prick
567. The Cow
568. Pirelli and the Pancakes
569. Female Trouble
570. Vendetta
571. Hillbilly Headhunters
572. Insulated Coffee Fish
573. Busta Hymen and the Penatrators
574. Question
575. Pulse
576. Words and Music
577. JellyFish Kiss
578. Glim Wavly Church of Christ
579. Chrome-city Rhapsody
580. Anger
581. Blue Belligerence
582. Eggamuffin
583. Shameless Hendrix Impersonators
584. Falasefal
585. Pepto Taj-Mahalogist
586. Crotch Critters
587. White Light Satelite
588. The Trees of Righteousteousness
589. One Step Below
590. The Confusion Boats
591. Slant 6
592. The Happy Travellers
593. Cat’s Sigh
594. Innocent Wilderness
595. Lard
596. Servants of Cher
597. Servants of the Circle
598. Pesticide Watch
599. Snake Pit Willy and the Drum Machine
600. 4 on the Floor
601. The Famous Band
602. Scantily Clad
603. Acoustic Callouses
604. Rasta Science
605. Takes One to Know One
606. A Pimply Collection.
607. The Rats of Secrecy
608. The Kings Horses
609. The Cute Vermin
610. The Dyke Pirates
611. Papa Right On
612. Grade Fractal and the Polar Hypothesises
613. Rastafication
614. Sex In Public
615. Alice Red Alice
616. The Rip Roarin’ Orgasms
617. The Local Sub-Trees
618. The all blue band
619. The Friday Night Garage Band
620. 3 D Blues Band
621.  No Mo’ Blues Band
622. The Rythm Chunk Band
623. Don’t Feed The Band
624. Peach Fish
625. Spangle Annie
626. Long Dong Silver and the Coke Cans
627. The Almost All Electric Rooster Ruckus Blues Band
628. Papa Hymen’s Blue Back Breakers
629. Pleasure Point Night Fighters
630. Necktie Blues
631. Atomic Utopia
632. Goodbye Blues Band
633. Red Rodney and the Hairy Palms
634. Sammy Spear and the All-Night Orchestra
635. The Soul Fish
636. The Fenomes
636. The Giddy Sacreds
637. Scrotum Sac and the Crab Army
638. Funky L96. Pollen
639. Banana Zagreb
640. Swollen Tongue
641. Cup of Sad
642. Down Boy Jesus
643. The Hips of Doom
644. Foghorn Leghorn
645. Like It Or Not
646. Magically Delicious
647. Anemone
648. Sweet Pain
649. The Charlie Factory
650. Bubblicious Blunderbucks
651. Butthole Smurfs
652. Snap, Crackle, Pop
653. Clever Mittens
654. Toxic Piss
655. The Beavers
656. Digital Hard On
657. Dag Nabbit
658. Through the Listening Glass
659.Welfare Frog

'The Piano'

It was 1998. I was in Barcelona,Spain. My Dad was sick. I was in an open space. I was studying the architecture of Gaudi.  I worked and worked on a poem I called “Piano”.  It played against my feelings of my Dad’s battle with cancer, (this to me was the ‘personal apocalypse’) and also had me wandering the halls of my own mortality.

A few years after the poem was done I sat down with my friend Jean Tuckerman at her Photoshop Mac in Pacifica and started placing the words into pictures, ala William Blake. I would go to her house and we would work verse by verse, trying ideas until we felt resolution; that the pictures and the words worked together. The process probably lasted more than a year. Jean often thought I was too literal with my ideas of what images should accompany my words, but we were enjoying the process, experimenting and learning.

Unfortunately the original files are missing. So I have scanned the prints I do have and present them here.