Many Words only One Water.

 So on the first day of the University of Wonder, Sage, Bodhi and I started writing down words which described the forms of water. Here is that list divided into the three stages of water, Liquid, Solid and Gas. Read through them and see if we have missed anything.

Writing this list has been an edutaining process, for water is omnipresent and words to describe it are everywhere. Sage, the budding lawyer and I have had many 'discussions' on  where a particular water word falls into this list. A good example is 'mud'. When does 'Bayou' become 'mud'? When does a 'Delta' become a 'Marsh'?

All these words of water are 'Sequentially Simultaneous'. The Stream is the Sea is the Cloud is the Rain. It is just like the First Chapter of the Tao De Ching...The 'Depth' and the 'Surface' are the same thing, it is only words which make them seem different.

Liquid

Dew
Flood
Rogue wave
Channel
Sound
Tide pool
Tsunami
Rain
Spring
Geyser
Bay
Wave
River
Stream
Brook
Puddle
Gulf
Strait
Whirlpool
Standing wave
Pool
Bog
Swamp
Marsh
Eddy
Aquaduct
Inlet
Cove
Canal
Estuary
Dribble
Spray
Squirt
Rapid
Reservoir
Rivulet
Delta
Ripple
Drizzle
Lake
Ocean
Sea
Pond
Drop
Dripping
Creek
Waterfall
Vernal pool
Slough
Bayou
Fjord
Ria

Solid
Ice
White out
Snow
Ice floe
Ice block
Ice pack
Ice berg
Icecap
Glacier
Blizzard
Permafrost
Snowflake
Slush
Black ice
Sleet
Frost
Icicle
Hail

Gas
Humid/humidity
Mist
Freezing fog
Steam
Fog
Clouds
Condensation
Evaporation
Vapor

Questionable
Wetlands?
Riparian zone?
Mud?
Brackish?
Erosion?
Smog?
Vog?
Mudslide?
Foam?
Sea foam?
Bubble?
A dream of water?

The University of Wonder

Suggested Reading...

The University of Wonder

Last summer I got civilized. I was lucky to have 90% of my work be just Oakland A’s broadcasts. Generally, this gave me one week on, then one week off. I used these blocks of time to exercise and create.

To save money this year, Edie didn’t book camps for the kids on some of the weeks I have off. At first I was like, “UGH! My ‘me’ time!” Then I came home from an A’s game on the third of July and the house was empty. Edie and the kids were out at my Ma’s house in Danville for the early morning parade on the 4th. Suddenly I had a whole evening of ‘me’ time, and I missed the kids. Then I realized soon enough they won’t want to spend anytime with me at all.

So I decided to turn how I thought about my ‘me’ time around and look at it another way. Here is an opportunity to set up a free form learning path modeled on a university. I printed up student ID cards and have structured my required reading list, syllabus and core curriculum.

The theme is Water.

The University of Wonder mission statement reads thus:

“Learn Like A River”

 The flow of learning is like water. It occurs in every moment and every interaction; just notice it and play with it.

Like a river there is no teacher, only collaborators and the current. What do you want to learn?

Founding Principles of this university:

1. FUN/play
2. art/ visual expression
3. physical activity
4. insight/awareness
5. science/pollution/electricity/physics
6. writing-poetry
7. philosophy/spirit

Some topics I want to cover are:

1.The nature of water, how does it work?
2. How is water represented in art.
3.How is water used in architecture ? Why?
4.Write a report on your favorite type of water or aspect of water- include poetry in your essays.
5. How is water represented in the Tao Te Ching?

Schedule:

July 11
First class 9am
Theme:refraction
Read chapter 8 Tao De Ching
Albany Bulb Walk--Spraypainting
Saul’s deli
Cement slide with squirt guns
Swim class @4


July 12
First class 9am
 Aqua Adventure Fremont 11am
Theme :hydrodynamics
 Tao De Ching concept:
 Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.

July 13
Theme: Animals and water
Tao De ching concept: Water symbolizes "finding" a way - a way that was there prior to the water flowing into it and one that is further shaped by the water's flow. Water doesn't fight things, it conforms to them and finds it's way.
Little Farm /jewel lake--Tilden Park
Ducks, turtles frogs
(How is water used on a working farm?)
watercolor and poetry

July 14
Theme: historical representations of water in art and architecture.
San Francisco Day. 
Tao te ching quote chapter 15
Stow lake rowboats, Japanese tea garden. Asian art museum

July 15
Free form art and essays.
Theme : what are the properties of water, besides ‘wet’
Derek works A’s @ 1

July 18
---end of Berkeley Family camp: Is the weekend a sabbatical on the Tuolumne river?
Read Tao Te Ching chapter 76

July 19
playdate with friends of the students- no plans
Read Tao Te Ching Chapter 78

July 20
 Derek works Earthquake soccer at night
Tao De Ching quote: Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them-that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Open art and science in morning.


july 21
Tao Te Ching concept:...Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.
last day of school!
All reports, science experiments and art is due!
Congrats to the grads!

All of this is very ambitious, I know. I want to instill the notion that the university is a place where you decide what you want to learn, and the results you reap are directly related to what you put into your studies.  If one studies hard, one has the opportunity to really learn. --->I say swim in the joy of learning while the water is still deep enough. --->There are many years after the university is done to fuck off.

When I was a student at UCSC, there was a sign on Morrisey Blvd in Santa Cruz just as you exited the freeway. It read, “Water is life, don’t waste it’. The same can be said for learning.








chapter 8 Tao De Ching

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It flows to low places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it is like the Tao.
Live in accordance with the nature of things.
In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In ruling be just.
In action, watch the timing
No fight: No blame
One who lives in accordance with nature
does not go against the way of things.
He moves in harmony with the present moment,
always knowing the truth of just what to do.

Tao te ching quote chapter 15

The sages of old were so deep,
no one could fathom them.
Because their minds were beyond understanding, we must be content with describing their appearance.

Careful, like crossing a frozen stream
Aware, as though watching all around
Courteous, like a polite guest
Yielding, like ice on the verge of melting
Simple, like an uncarved block of wood.
Open, like a broad valley
Turbid, like muddy water.

Remain calm, and even muddy water becomes clear.
Remain still, and movement brings you to life.
One who follows the Way does not wish to be always full;
For this reason he can pass through exhaustion and be replenished.

Tao Te Ching chapter 76:

     When people are born they are gentle and soft.
    At death they are hard and stiff.
    When plants are alive they are soft and delicate.
    When they die, they wither and dry up.
    Therefore the hard and stiff are followers of death.
    The gentle and soft are the followers of life.
    Thus, if you are aggressive and stiff, you won't win.
    When a tree is hard enough, it is cut. Therefore
    The hard and stiff are lesser,
    The gentle and soft are greater.

Tao Te Ching chapter 78:

     Nothing in the world is softer than water,
    Yet nothing is better at overcoming the hard and strong.
    This is because nothing can alter it.
    That the soft overcomes the hard
    And the gentle overcomes the aggressive
    Is something that everybody knows
    But none can do themselves.
    Therefore the sages say:
    "The one who accepts the dirt of the state
    Becomes its master.
    The one who accepts its calamity
    Becomes king of the world.
    Truth seems contradictory.
  

Random Local Insects

Again it comes down to process…

A few days ago, I posted on facebook, my new favorite band name, ‘Nougat!’ It was just one word and had a nice ring. I am always thinking these things up. My friend Matt Delaney, commented about a band name “Strap On Jesus” this got me remembering this long list of band names called RANDOM LOCAL INSECTS. (Some of you will remember it was first published in a book of poems I ‘released’ in 1992 called ‘VENT’.)

It was compiled during my later years living in Santa Cruz. It worked like this: My buddies and I would go to a drunken party and ask people, “If you had a band, what would you call it?” In a slur people would start rattling them off, quickly, I started writing them down on whatever I could find. I went home and entered them in Macwrite- an ancient word processing program. (So old, I couldn’t open the document to republish here!) (When will all our data become unreadable when the programs that created them are long gone?—Another blog post for this I guess.)

Many of these band names reflect the intoxicated state college students normally inhabit. Many are rude and immature. Some also reflect the contemporary news and other worldly events. “7.2” refers to the magnitude of the 1989 Loma Prieta quake- for example.

As I read through them I am transported back to those bike rides and body surfing infused days. AH, Santa Cruz!

Here is my original intro:

Regardless of how a band finally settles on a name, some band names are better than others.  Everything has to do with it.
    What I have tapped into is a strange symptom of America; many people, even people who are not musicians, create fictitious band names. Someone says “Did you see those Morman Bikers go by?,” and someone  else goes, “Wait!, that’d be a great band name!” And thus a band name is born.
   
Enjoy! They are free to be use.


1.Random Local Insects
2.Chimichunga and the Tostadas
3.The Cool Cheeses
4.The Jimmy Tomorrows
5.Big Toof
6.Slamdancecosmopolos
7.The Comptones
8.Suck My Fuck
9.The 47th One
10.Slow Children At Play
11.Fred Sanford Quintet
12.The Soup
13.The Humorous Fluids
14.The Family Dog
15.Cinderella’s Pizza
16.Zeus’ Muses
17.Biff Malibu and the Shredded  Sticks
18.Sample This Franklin
19.The Fahrvegnugeners
20.All Meat Marvel
21.The I Don’t Know
22.I Forget
23.The Chemicals of Modern Wonders
24.Pion me
25.Bleeding Zit
26.Millicent
27.The Bernie Getz Experience
28.Titus Crow
29.Beer Atom and the Pizza Particles
30.Spastic Children’s Fund
31.axelrod
32. 8th Ave. Squatters
33.of
34.Andrew Atom and the Pizza Particles
35.The Imbuddhable Masses
36.Radiation Creation
37.Gigi’s Love
38.Black Milk
39.The Configurations
40.The Abysmal Rectangles
41.Strap On Jehovah
42.The Dark Distance
43.So Alone
44.The Pbbbbbbbt!
45.A Whole In the Soul
46.Thick Spliff And The Burners
47.The Rummies
48.Indian Summer
49.Indigenous Harmonies
50.Scrabini and the Flying Garbonza Bros.
51.Snake Butt
52.Mass Media Mind Fuck
53.Psychotic Pineapple
54.The Mighty Sphincters
55.The Randy Peckers (country)
56.Decapitated Armadted Armadted Armad
 57.Night Blooming Jazzmen
58.Morman Bikers
59.Ai Ai Ai!!!
60.Peaceful Doorknobs
61.The Peter Pumpkin Principle
62.My Dinner with Anieda Hall
63.New Age Underwear
64.The Anthropormorphized Fruits
65. Blazing Phalluses
66.Bad Rabbit
67.Lampshade Conspiracy
68.Clarence Thomas’ Penis
69.Baby Sitters in Jail
70.The Square Tomatoes
71.The Stackable Cows
72.Stoic Chinese Waiters
73.People Making Noise
74.Five Guys Named Moe
75.Me, Danny, Mitch, and Mikey
76.The Virtuous Herbs
77.Cakes in the Home
78. 7.2
79.Boom Boom Bap
80.The Seeminglys
81.Lee Atwater’s Death Bed
82.Strange Beautiful
83.Da Barrelhouse Buddhaband
84.The Meat Trees
85.The Living Brezhnevs
86.The Liquid Clarks
87.Attempted Mustasche
88.Some Chicken 8kin
89.Painful Rectal Itch
90.Removable Limbs
91.The Meesh Injectors
92.The Crawdads of Pure Love
93.Your Face and a Jackass
94.Lovebitch
95.Deathcamp Lettuce
96.Anal Snacks
97.Glory Hole
98.Stink Bomb
99.The Knobs
100.Pacaderm Squirm
101.Monkey Spank
102.Lady Finger
103.“Fear of Vomit”
104.Lung Butter
105.A Piece of God’s Ash
106.Bardo
107.Catch a Fire
108.Fuckin’ Mackin’ Stem
109.The Dan Tones
110.Monks On Psycedelics
111.The Turd Polishers
112.Snaggle-Tooth Thought(0r Slot) Machine
113.the stupid to the sublime
114.Communal Mind
115.Toots Mayhem and the Vague Bananas
116.Media Circus
117.Third Stone
118.Spiritual Funk/ Spiritual Head
119.Snorkel of Glory
120.Post Hydrolic Comprimise
121.Five Toyotas of Hell
122.Malus
123.Neil Horse
124.Mantis
125.Miracle WhipKings
127.Analingus
128.Plume of Death
129.The Outer Sky
130.Black Sabbatical
131.Three at Last
132.Grungy Fucking Hippies
133.Dry Spell
134.Chogi Honkers
135.The Metaphysical Midgets
136. The Dizzy Gelesbians
137. Caucasion Blues Coalition
138.Female Oil of Glory
126.The Connie Chung Wrestlers!
139. Pre-maddona
140. I Think I Might Be Allergic to Cinnamon
141.Puck and Tatter
142.C+ Bukowski
143.Gastrapods R Us
144.Dolphee
145. Big Stew
146. Mead
147. Fucking Majestic
148. King of the Spiders
149. Miscarrige
150.The Clue
160.Womb Tomb
161. Flaccid Tubesteak
162.We Looked Cute Together
163. The Marketable Experiences
164. Adam’s Butt
165. shit fuck
166.The Roots of Souud
167.Cow Wicker Kook
168.Dripping Mary
169.Free Beer
170.Oi Vey!
171.Semantic Residue
172.Premnath
173..........Beer
 174..Love Doesn’t Wear Shoes
174.Scratch It ‘Til It Hurts
175.The Self-Righteous Warthogs
176. War-On-Drugs Haircut
177. Primer Gray Erection
!78 . God’s Cock
179. Tampon
180. Icy Toke
181. Breakfast of Infamy
182. The Wacky Bobs
183. Bonghits To Oblivion
184. Cunt of Humanity
185. The Ultimate Losers
186. We Do Weddings
187. The Council of Greedy Executives
188. Maddona Pap Smear
189. The Stillborns
190. Modality
191. 6
192. Bi-Treasonal Fabrications
193. MK Ultra
194. Stoned Immaculate
195. clean fresh scent
196. Fruitcake Saliva
197. The Pure Cane Sugars
198. icepick undertow
199. suseJ
200. only only
201. Poki-Dharma and the Annacondas
202. 5 Dead Horses
203. Fetch
204. Suburban Propane
205. Toxic Fuck
206. Fickle Bliss
207. Farm Accident
208. Chef D in the Mouse Infected Kitchen
209. en
209. The Ixed Nizzles
210. Seven
211. Quaalude Thunder
212. The Rythmic Beds
213. Spork Spockman
214. The 1/4 Tone Nelsons
215. Wiggly Grooves
216. The Flat Fives
217. Orthostatic Hypotension
218. Bowel and Bladder (B&B)
219. Raw Honey
220. The Itchy Bites
221. Buddha and the Turtles
222. The Total Queebs
223. Bluish Skin Color
224. Love and Coconuts
225. Heartpain
226. Nevermind
227. Suns of Wang
228. Irregular Heartbeat
229. Profuse Sweating
230. Mooncat
231. Bubonic Tooth
232. Thrinity
233. Cradle Cap
234. Mr. Softy
235. Magnificent Fester
236. Baby Jesus Stick
237. Apostle on a Pole
238. Ripchord
239. The Scumbuckets
240. Blood and Cum in a Petri Dish
241. The Clostomy Bags
242. Diapers of Dew
243. EarwaxOi Vey!
244. Don’t Be Sad
245. The Endless Edges
246. Tall Saul and the Astrals
247. Just Look At You
248. All Of The Above
249. Waltzing Matilda
250. John is an Experiencer
251. Quayle Ewdee Ewde Next?
256. Iron Butt Plug
257. Chuckle Love Pie
258. Illegal Emotions
258. Squirmin’ Pit ‘O’ Girls
259. Perry Ferrel’s Grandchild
260. Gumball Machine
261. Flouresenct Light Fixtures
262. Pizzas, Pumpkin Pie and Piss
263. Cello Vecks
264. The Shop Crasters
265. Chicken Hawk
266. Fury Things
267. Sunset Crack of Gumdrop
268. Fuck Me I’m Rich
269. Roll A Bum
270. Split Infinitives
271. Burnt Toast
272. Talk About Reference
273. The Crazy Prophets
274. Untits
282. Plus Special Guest
283. Get Lost
284. The Imbedded Himself
285. The Impacted Painful Things
286. Meager Existence
287. I Don’t Do Bananas
288. The Galactic Masters and the Numbers of  Destiny                                          
289. Her Hand Was Her Husband
290. The Pale Blue Riders
291. Piranafish Cowboy
292. Sold Out
293. The Schizophrenic Buddhists
294. Heritage Music
295. The Knives of Science
296. *The Sandwich Ate
297. House of Wreckers
298. Molly in Lingerie
299. The Yak
300. Eagle Flower (or Eagle Flour )
301. Stinky Water
302. Flaccid Ashbak
303. Nuclear Scope
304. Freaktet
305. King Poo
306. Cheese Soda
307. Fat Stag
308. Leather Feather
309. Kim’s Neck
310. Too Good To Be True
311.  Spoons
312. Stem On This
313. Cults of Highway 9
314. Virtual Earth
315. The Metro-gnomes of Life
316. Joy Thru Movement
317. Sultans of Swill
318. On Time
319. Hey You Little Poo!! (HYLP)
320. Stool, Neck, and Lively
321. Cookies Are Yes
322. Honey on the Razor Blade
323. The Philosophical Doughnuts
324. Milk Mustache
325. Bigfoot Expedition
326. gasm
327. Bak La Va Crust
328. Go Steve!
329. Nude Women In Clothing
330. Yeah Now
331. Petroleum By-Products
332. Elvis Eggnog
333. tumble dry M
334. Patience
335. Some Kinda Adhesive
336. Turn
337. Apoconapse
338. Da Kind Music
339. Sphere Sucker
340. Heavy Band
341. Sperm Sucker
342. Sasparillas
343. My Dad’s Last Schaffer
344. Wedding Season
345. See What I Mean?
346. What I Mean?
346. Acoustic Mayhem
347. aBANDonment
348. Caca Pasa
349. Schlong
350. I Wouldn’t
351. Barbara Giffen
352. The  yrhgweub
353. The Unavoidable Third Eye
354. The Sexual Tensions
355. Leather Messiah
356. The Creatures of Terrible Subtlety
357. Nancy Reagan’s Thing Thang
358. The Inevitable
359. Vulcan Mind-Meld
360. Sincere Sensation
361. Slightly White
362. Negative Capability
363. Pinner Cloud
364. Stink Finger
365. The Cosmic Space Junk Quartet
366. Smoke
367. The Robitussons
368. Sisterettes and Brotherettes
369. Prong
370. Hell Mutt
371. Funkity
372. Look C
373. Cliff Burton’s Ghost
374. Poke Smot
375. Vegan Death Squeal (or Squad)
376. JXK
377. Major Leg
378. Cryogenic Fluids
379. Your Mama!
380. 525 in America
381. The Dhance of Complete Surrender
382. Chewy Noughat
383. Butt Nuggets
384. Hock a Lugie
385. Mungee
386. Dry Sockeeee
387. Spontaneous Combustion
388. Dog Tongue
389. The Cat’s Pajamas
390. Black Velvet Futility
391. The Salads of Despair
392. Gore Point
393. The Blue Meanies
394. Unsanitary Kitchen
395. Sizzling Urine Sticks
396. The Cheeky Monkeys
397. Kiss My Eyes
398. Full Moon Tan
399. The Carnivorous Cows
400. Smog Cafe
401. Mrs. BugFree
402. Nope
403.Tintin In Oakland
404. Fucking Cunthole Spoofheads
405. Brothers of the Blue T
406. Giblets
407. Elsie In The Field
408. Joe Joe and the 7 Dwarves
409. Greenhouse of Fear
410. Zones Normal
411. IRK
412. The Silver Spoons
413. Flourescent Green Phlem
414. The Bettys
415. The Mucous Membranes
416. Essence
417. Known In Bakersfield
418. Screaming Yellow Zonkers
419. Seulemat Deux
420. This Is Us
421. Siddiqi
422. The Signifigant Others
423. Sound Barrier
424. Stricken With The Palsy
425. The 7 Horsemen of the Apocolapse
426. Gerbil Hemoroids
427. My Earth
428. Famous
429. Alot of Confusion
430. Best Boy Electric
431. Live Music
432. Welfare Frog
433. The Paranoids
434. Sick Dick and the Volkswagens
435. The Bad Habits
436.Speacil Sauce
437. The Fruit Loops
438. The Pilgrims
439.The Imbuddhable Mass
440. Freeze Dryed Water
441. El Nino
442. Hyperbolic Tangent
443. Ontogony Recapitulates Phylogeny
444. The 3 Toed Sloths
445. Ruby Slippers
446. Skinned Knee
447. Disruption
448. Dickin’ Jane
449. Ole Fezzywig
450. Schalac That
451. Seriously Looped
452. Funk and Racket
453. The Wet Housewives
454. It’s In The Oven
455. Stinky Underfoot
456. Proctol Harem
457. Funk Finger
458. For Whom The Taco Bell Tolls
459. Spot 1000
460. The Circles of Intoxication
461. Angelless  Awareness
462. Master Vagrant
463. Opesle Masses. Famous
429. Alot of Confusion
430. Best Boy Electric
431. Live Music
432. Welfare Frog
433. The Paranoids
434. Sick Dick and the Volkswagens
435. The Bad
433. The Paranoids
434. Sick Dick and the Volkswagens
435. The Bad Habits
436.Speacil Sauce
437. The Fruit Loops
438. The Pilgrims
439.The Imbuddable Massesen Casket
464. 120 X
465. Extra Show Added
466. All Seats Reserved
467. Korsakoff
468. Stairway To Nowhere
469. Vicious Felacios
470. Incision
471. The Corporate Pig Fuckers
472. Slacker Food Chain
473. The Sonic Drifters
474. Hotel Freedom
475. Titia
476. The Tits of Heavan
477. The Interstellar Burnouts
478. The Cantankerous Jews
479. The Near Ones
480. Alameda County Death Cult
481. Arbeit Macht Frei
482. Swamp Wench
483. Mein Kampf
484. ‘MM’ Good
485. The New Geometrics
486. The Flying Rats
487. Irielip Übmensch
488. Nipples Malone, Gangster of Love
489. The Rippin’ Nipples
490. The Absolute Polygons of Virtue
491. The Brindle Cats
492. Ancient Dog
493. I Hate Almost Everybody
494. The White-Skinned Blacks
495. My Uncle Was A Nazi, But I Like To Drink Tea
496.The Situation
497. Asphalt Avenger
498. Skeleton Key
499. Scheiss Haus
500. Nectar of Grace
501. Stinky McPherson and the Whistling Mon T
502.The Latern of Imaginings
503. Egb
504. Brothers of the Same Mind
505. Doctor Maximus
506. King Mahmud and the Beans
507“It Ain’t No Good, ‘Les Ya Play Wit It”
508. Don’t Happy Be Worry
509.Kali-Dasa
510. The Celestial Apples
511. The Emanations
512. Glass Candy
513. TCB Sa Mellah
514. The Italian Putzes
515. Iky Tway
516.Molten Love
517. Eagle’s Wing
518. A Flower Named Blue
519. Venus Witch’s Ring
520. Alles Falsch
521. Ludwig 26
522. Phunk Taxi
523. Social Graffitti
524. Chronic Flatuence
525. Floating Liquid Gardens.
526. Squash
527. The Hiccups
528. Grass
529. Infinite Repose
530. Zen My Left Nut
531. Burning Sensation
532. Jug and Deff
533. Androgenous Kitten
534. Shag
535. The Protein Shakes
536. (Wow! I’ve Got a) Buttitch
537.  Crotch Rot
538. The Sticky Toilettes
539. Kanichiwah
540. The Nasty Grandmothers
541. Wild But Sensitive
542. Dogsnatch
543. Pope Randy
544. Suck The Jam
545.Velveetaoon Travelers
546. Working Burrito
547. Diana Ross’ Illegitimate Children
548. Trip Out
549. Smell Me
550. We’re Buried In Grant’s Tomb
551. Musty Crutch
552. Void Where Prohibited
553. Nuclear Mercenaries
554. A Cup a Fuck
555. Groovy Furniture
556. Conspiraccy A Go-Go
557. The True Nelsons
558. Tough Enough 4 Alaska
559. 100% Columbian
560. Overdose
561. The Duracells
562. O Mighty Isis
563. The Bears Of Indecision
564. ____ and the Power Tools
565. Top Ramen
566. The Jolly Green Giant’s Prick
567. The Cow
568. Pirelli and the Pancakes
569. Female Trouble
570. Vendetta
571. Hillbilly Headhunters
572. Insulated Coffee Fish
573. Busta Hymen and the Penatrators
574. Question
575. Pulse
576. Words and Music
577. JellyFish Kiss
578. Glim Wavly Church of Christ
579. Chrome-city Rhapsody
580. Anger
581. Blue Belligerence
582. Eggamuffin
583. Shameless Hendrix Impersonators
584. Falasefal
585. Pepto Taj-Mahalogist
586. Crotch Critters
587. White Light Satelite
588. The Trees of Righteousteousness
589. One Step Below
590. The Confusion Boats
591. Slant 6
592. The Happy Travellers
593. Cat’s Sigh
594. Innocent Wilderness
595. Lard
596. Servants of Cher
597. Servants of the Circle
598. Pesticide Watch
599. Snake Pit Willy and the Drum Machine
600. 4 on the Floor
601. The Famous Band
602. Scantily Clad
603. Acoustic Callouses
604. Rasta Science
605. Takes One to Know One
606. A Pimply Collection.
607. The Rats of Secrecy
608. The Kings Horses
609. The Cute Vermin
610. The Dyke Pirates
611. Papa Right On
612. Grade Fractal and the Polar Hypothesises
613. Rastafication
614. Sex In Public
615. Alice Red Alice
616. The Rip Roarin’ Orgasms
617. The Local Sub-Trees
618. The all blue band
619. The Friday Night Garage Band
620. 3 D Blues Band
621.  No Mo’ Blues Band
622. The Rythm Chunk Band
623. Don’t Feed The Band
624. Peach Fish
625. Spangle Annie
626. Long Dong Silver and the Coke Cans
627. The Almost All Electric Rooster Ruckus Blues Band
628. Papa Hymen’s Blue Back Breakers
629. Pleasure Point Night Fighters
630. Necktie Blues
631. Atomic Utopia
632. Goodbye Blues Band
633. Red Rodney and the Hairy Palms
634. Sammy Spear and the All-Night Orchestra
635. The Soul Fish
636. The Fenomes
636. The Giddy Sacreds
637. Scrotum Sac and the Crab Army
638. Funky L96. Pollen
639. Banana Zagreb
640. Swollen Tongue
641. Cup of Sad
642. Down Boy Jesus
643. The Hips of Doom
644. Foghorn Leghorn
645. Like It Or Not
646. Magically Delicious
647. Anemone
648. Sweet Pain
649. The Charlie Factory
650. Bubblicious Blunderbucks
651. Butthole Smurfs
652. Snap, Crackle, Pop
653. Clever Mittens
654. Toxic Piss
655. The Beavers
656. Digital Hard On
657. Dag Nabbit
658. Through the Listening Glass
659.Welfare Frog

'The Piano'

It was 1998. I was in Barcelona,Spain. My Dad was sick. I was in an open space. I was studying the architecture of Gaudi.  I worked and worked on a poem I called “Piano”.  It played against my feelings of my Dad’s battle with cancer, (this to me was the ‘personal apocalypse’) and also had me wandering the halls of my own mortality.

A few years after the poem was done I sat down with my friend Jean Tuckerman at her Photoshop Mac in Pacifica and started placing the words into pictures, ala William Blake. I would go to her house and we would work verse by verse, trying ideas until we felt resolution; that the pictures and the words worked together. The process probably lasted more than a year. Jean often thought I was too literal with my ideas of what images should accompany my words, but we were enjoying the process, experimenting and learning.

Unfortunately the original files are missing. So I have scanned the prints I do have and present them here.

Time Machine

Here is a testament to the power of music:

I was sitting in the truck at the A's game, waiting.

I decide to play Sweet Honey in the Rock's song 'Ode to the International Debt'. Which i hadn't listened to in a while. Suddenly tears are streaming down my face. I am transported back in time...I had forgotten Edie and I had gone to see Sweet Honey in the Rock at Zellerbach over 10 years ago. Earlier that same day I had hugged my Dad in the hospital knowing he was going to die. I had never cried so much at a concert before or since.  Wow, i got caught off guard.

We are powerless to the evocative power of music to reconnect us with both good and bad memories.

Two Ideas for the Google Suggestion Box

The Google Unifier.

Google’s mission is to organize the world‘s information and make it universally accessible and useful. What knowledge is more meaningful than the knowledge of the world’s sacred texts?

The Google Unifier would be a cross-searchable database of the world’s sacred texts. Let’s say you were interested in ‘good versus evil’, you could do a search and pertinent quotes, and/or links would come up showing relevant world wide sacred texts about this topic. It is an opportunity to show common threads across the major religions/philosophies of this planet.

My vision is to have it moderated by knowledgeable people. But there would also be a ‘wiki’ component where people could comment and discuss themes and threads.

Here is Google’s chance to be the antioxidant to the world’s infotoxins.

And/Or…..

G.U.S.D = Google Unified School District.

Let’s have Google’s deep pockets and tradition for innovation/ risk taking try its hand at the most important problem facing our current society; schools. It could be a school district swimming in technology yet grounded in the experience of seasoned teachers and administrators. Perhaps admission could be on a lottery so that a cross section of socioeconomic kids can be served.

They couldn’t do any worse than the fiasco that is modern education.

The Self-control versus Letting Go debate...

A week or so ago I posted an update on facebook about self-control being the answer to life’s problems.

 My friend, Debbie Chacamaty commented, “And here I thought it was all about losing control,….hmmmmm gotta think about that one.” This offhand quip got me pondering about control versus flow….

I stepped back and looked at Tai chi. My esteemed Shifu, Dr. Alex Feng has as the third of his three main points of  Tai Chi as being 'form versus formlessness'. He says, “Be Like Seaweed”. 

Yet we practice and strive to learn the ‘set’ -the choreography of the movements (be they Chen, Yang or any other style).  This takes enormous self control to remember foot work and posture and mental attitude and how your hands should be held and to RELAX!

In my opinion, this is the form he speaks about. Yet within this form we must be loose and flowing – the ‘letting go ‘ that Debbie commented upon.

Even the seaweed that my  Teacher speaks about grows only upward while the roots drive down and grip the sea floor. It has boundaries- edges of the leaves that it grows within, yet within these ‘limits’ it moves freely with the currents- just as we should.

So what kind of self-control does this now famous seaweed exhibit? It’s control lies in its fierce hook onto the rocky sea floor, for the moment it decides to let go completely -to be absolutely loose to the tides, it looses it’s roots and the nutrients they provide (at least  like the kelp at the Monterrey Bay Aquarium).

So again we must be as the slug sliding along the razorblade between form and formlessness-Fully present in both –simultaneously- absolutely in control but loose and open and flowing. Can you do it?

The History of the Tape/A2 position at the Giants

Once upon a time someone decided to ‘Cross a diamond with a pearl-and turn it on the world”.

They created the tape/a2 position at the Giants. It lasted from 1989 To 2001?.

It might have initially been created as a cost savings for the Giants show . I am not sure. What it ended up being was great hybrid training position.

How it worked was the tape/a2 would arrive and setup all the audio on the field. This included the booth  and all the field effects mics. (jobs that two a2s do now, by the way).  Once all the audio was faxed you would go to a brief lunch. After that it was off to the tape room to run a replay machine. Then at the top of the ninth you would sprint to the field for the post game interview and strike all the field audio then strike the booth audio. Needless to say it was a very long day.

Here is a running order of those who performed the job.

1) Aaron Skojkov 1989
2) Scott Hazen 1990
3) Lars Pacheco 1991
4) Tom Hunter1992
5) Dave Stagnero ( 3 years?)
6) Deb Robertson 1996
 7) Derek Hirsch (1997- 1998)
8) Mike Bird 1999?
9) D'Aulaire Louwerse 2000-2001?

(David Koppett says of this group “Wow... that is an All-Star team.  Pretty cool.”)

I am proud to be on that list. (Though it is ironic, I am the only one who continued in audio)( Deb Robertson told me that the 2010 World Series tape room consisted of herself, Tom Hunter, Aaron Stojkov and Scott Hazen-among others.)

Anyway, I was brought in more as a request from Wes Weaver, (the famed mixer for the Giants and A’s broadcasts for many years.) It turns out Wes had gotten tired of training A2s every year. So the tape room had to deal with me.

I drank a quad mocha before the game to help with my concentration but it didn’t help out very much. I was quite tense. So much so that I would hold my breath as I ran a replay!

The tape room is an interesting place. It is like it’s own state (New Hampshire?)in that has a little autonomy. They work together rolling opens and replays (and at least when I did it they would also cover for each other while one machine was playing back a replay another operator would cover the camera that was not being recorded. Now with the non-linear EVS machines this could have changed).  But while all this is going on there is a constant banter and stream of jokes. …What everyone else hadthe ability to do was joke and laugh and still know what their machines had recorded. I could not do this for some reason! I am glad I had an opportunity to sit in the tape room. It taught me that there is a camaraderie and a teamwork back there.  And yes, tapers work hard too!
Here is a remembrance from D’aulaire:
Dear A2/Tape,

You made me strong, you made me enjoy intimate moments between John Ward,
Tom Hunter, and Scott Hazen sandwiched in dimly-lit small areas, my skills
at over-under blossomed, you gave me tough skin and to defend myself in the
“viper pit”, you allowed me to roll with “The Bruce” for a summer, I learned
never cut to 2 when the ball went up the middle and that made Deb happy, got
to setup the home booth at the Opening of SBC park …horribly, literally ran
into Ken Griffey Jr, played back in real time the first splash HR from
Downey on splash cam, So much in just half the summer then I went away and
you went away….a sad thing, but as I said to the tape room …”It’s all up
here”.

Yours Truly,
D’Aulaire Class of 2000

Here are some stories from Scott Hazen and Deb Robertson..

S.H: NMT’s A3 was setup with a four person front bench. At one time we called it the ‘Hair Club for Men’. There was Jerry Piazza  who was in the later stages of baldness, then Jim Armintrout who was entering into the later stages of baldness, then John Ward who was in the thinning stages then myself who was very hairy, so much that they called me ‘Jesus’.



D.R One of our jobs was grabbing the player for the post game interview. I had a streak of going out and grabbing a player either home or visiting for every game. It was getting near the end of the season and Jeff Kuiper wanted me go grab some lower tier player but then Dave Benzer goaded me into going and asking Barry Bonds to do a post game interview. So little did I know that every camera guy was watching me go out to try and get Bonds. And it is documented on tape of me being turned down by Barry, BUT, I saved the day and was able to go get Tom Lampkin and still get an interview so my streak was still alive.

S.H…..My experience with Mike Bird was one of young love…two men exploring their bodies…No Just kidding ! …Actually my mentors John Ward and Jim Armintrout were very influential in my young television life. Teaching me the ropes; that you can have fun and still be very professional. I can think of ‘stoli night’ as one of my favorite,-- yet also nerve-wracking experience in the tape room. Basically everyone imbibed in Stoli screw drivers (with John Ward’s Donald Duck orange juice –I don’t know if that goes back to the roots of being an Oregon Duck or just a fan of Disney products) while we were doing the broadcast and no mistakes were made (that I know of .) (John Ward adds it was fresh squeezed orange juice and ‘Don’t try this at home!’)

Here’s what Jim Armintrout remembers about the famed A2/tape position.

Actually I remember thinking that this was going to be a bad idea and who could possibly learn to be any good at tape if they were constantly running around doing A2 work all the time? And it turned out that (once again) I was wrong and all of the people who came into that position did great at it and moved on to be pros in the field whether they stayed in tape or moved on to another area.

I'm pretty sure it had little to do with the mentors. Maybe it was just the freedom of the environment that we had to try things and fail at them and then try something else and succeed at it that made it work. Hopefully those who have moved on into positions of Production are trying to live by those concepts even now?

Here is one of my stories from the 1997 or 1998 seasons... After every game I had to go down to low 1st and put a headset on Dusty Baker for a post game interview.

Well this one game I had him set up on headset and leaned back against the wall for the interview. Dave Benzer (the camera operator) said, "Derek put that cord behind his shoulder". I stepped to move it, but unfortunately the grounds crew had left a rake there. I stepped on the rake and WHOOSH the handle swishes inches in front of Dusty's face (ala 3 stooges). Just then the director (Jim Lynch) takes the camera, and says "what was that!?"Dave goes, "derek almost broke his leg!" Jim repies," Tell him he can't do that again!"

I almost hit Dusty Baker in the head with a rake ON THE AIR! "
Tom Hunter:  My Tape/A2 year was way back in 1992.  More often than not during that season the Giants tape room consisted of Kevin Skillings, Jim Armintrout, and John Ward, and to me, a young and impressionable man just beginning his journey in the business, I was quite starry-eyed, not just with the creative and inventive work they performed on a nightly basis, but their ability to make the work fun.  Those three in their various ways had a major impact on my success, and it all started with that enjoyable and educational season.
      A back story that dovetails into my reminisce is to approximate a story told to my tape brethren that year by the Giants head of stadium operations, Jorge Costas.  His tale involved busting a drunken group of college kids at a game.  He called that group of miscreants "Walking-talking time-bombs". 
      Now as the new member that season I was anxious to fit in and earn their approbation, as well as desperate not to make mistakes as to receive well intentioned yet cutting jibes from my superiors.  One night that summer of 1992 I was called upon to run a replay of a nicely turned double play from a feature that was run earlier that evening.  For you youngsters out there we at the time used reel-to-reel, hand cranked videotape machines for replays.  So there I was actually getting to do a replay, which was rare for the Tape/A2 person those days as we had the least used angle in our machine.  The key to this particular reply was that the split second that the first baseman caught the ball the feature cut to the next shot, which had nothing to do with the previous one.  I knew that and so did Trout and John.  Well, of course, even slowly turning by hand, I missed my freeze by a frame or two and up came the next shot.  Groans and hoots proceeded to rain upon me, and I was mortified.  In my embarrassment and frustration I hand slapped the wall next to me and probably utter a curse.  That stopped the cat-calls, but it lead to John commenting, "Boy Tom is a Time-Bomb".  With that thought in their heads mixed with the memory of Jorge Costas's story, Trout and John in unison proclaimed, "Yes, he is a Time-Bomb.  Let's call him that from now on...Hey Time-Bomb!  Take it easy there Time-Bomb....Time-Bomb-Time-Bomb, Time-Bomb!"
        It has now 19 years later and the nickname has morphed, but still to this day I am known to one and all, young and old alike, as "Bomber".
Here is a story from Lars:
Below is one of my many memories from the 1991 baseball season when I was the A2/Tape operator on the Giants telecasts.  For what it's worth, it has nothing really to do with the job, but rather a chance encounter with Will Clark, the Giants first baseman at the time.

On a typical late afternoon, before a midweek night game at Candlestick Park in 1991, I was down on the field wrapping some microphones following soundbites down at the low first camera position.  As was usual for this time of the day, the wind had begun to kick up within the park.  It was especially strong down on the field and at times would swirl, picking up dirt, paper, or any other loose particles that had gone uncollected.

As I finished up my duties, and began to make my way back to the Truck, the wind was howling, and blowing in from right field towards home plate.  So, dressed in my typical TV production attire at the time, i.e. shorts, sneakers, and a sweatshirt, I skipped in front of the Giants first base dugout, headed towards the backstop stairs.  At first, I felt the strong gust of wind at my legs, and then suddenly, something attach itself to the back of my left shoe.  As I continued to walk, trying not to draw attention to myself, I noticed that it was a Styrofoam Burger container, the kind that the Big Mac used to come in.  With each passing step however, I now realized that the strength of the wind was enough to keep the container pressed to my left foot.  No worries, I thought...I would soon be off the field and headed to the warm confines of Tape.

Then I heard it...the loud, obnoxious, high pitched shriek coming from the dugout.  "Hey Buddyyy...you dropped you're Cheeseburger!  Buddyyy, you dropped you're Cheeseburger!"  Ugh...it was Will Clark, the Giants First Baseman yelling at me.  He had noticed the Styrofoam container, and was now in full blown A**hole mode.  He hit me again..."Buddyyy, Buddyyy, you dropped you're Cheeseburger."  I scurried across the dugout, cursing him under my breath, all the while making sure that I didn't give him the satisfaction by acknowledging his taunts!  Soon, all I heard behind me was the making of "Buddyyy, hey Buddyyy" as I made my way thru the backstop gate, thinking, what a DICK and hoping that no one was staring at me as I double timed it up the Lower Box steps.

And with that, the moment was gone, only to live forever in the memory banks of John Ward and Tom Hunter.  The Giants 1989 NLCS hero was now my Public Enemy Number One!

Lars Pacheco
A2/Tape 1991  

And so on…..I will let John Ward, one of the mentors of every tape/a2 close out this debris….

it indeed was camelot. we launched new ideas and also made so many mistakes but all things were possible.  it was less of a business, more about the coverage and we had a total blast.  also we thought it was art although i have seen some crazy, weird, and downright bad stuff we did back in the day that certainly doesn't hold up!   however it was no doubt a one of a kind boot camp/think tank/incubator for some of the finest talent anybody has ever seen, OMG look at that list we must have been doing something right!  the best analogy i have is if you have ever watched classic tv like johnny carson or dean martin.  sometimes brilliant, sometimes awkward, but always hall of famers doing their best drinking and smoking and letting the audience know you are having a really good time. please try to fit that on our tombstones!  finally derek never forget scott hazen's advice: breathe!  good times, JW

Here is a final ‘p.s’ from Aaron Stojkov , the first tape/a2:

 During my Giantsvision intern season of 1988 along with setting up,
striking, practicing on-camera during batting practice and generally being
an annoyance, I would also help Wes Weaver set-up audio on the field.

   (I also remember running to get Wes many hot dogs and sodas, but that's
another story)

   It became clear that audio was not an area where many of the interns
seemed to gravitate, so I sort of made an effort to help Wes and the A-2
(Roger Inman?) out more. You also heard lots of crazy stories from Grady
hanging out in the booth "setting up".

   That and my good looks are probably why I was asked to fill the
inaugural A-2/Tape role in 1989.

   While I eventually became an official A-2 on shows in the Bay Area over
the next few years, the true value of the A-2/tape position was on-headset,
operating equipment, part-of-the-show access to the truck.

   You learn so much more about how a broadcast operates, and everyone's
role in it, by being in the truck. And the tape room is unique in that you
have the ability to discuss, critique and "back seat" produce the show. The
lively discussions and debates we we're exposed to in the A-2/tape position
are unique throughout the remote television.

   To this day I don't remember being around a more creative group of
people than were on that show & in that tape room. John Ward, Trout, Jerry,
Greg Overton, Don Watt, Hank, etc. taught me a great deal about how to
handle myself in this business. And about the philosophies of why things
were done a certain way...but also wondering why not try it this way? You
realized quickly what a delightful laboratory that tape room was when you
started working on visiting feeds or traveling to other markets.

   OK...I probably didn't learn much from Hank:-) (I think Hank is Kevin Skillings? –Derek)

   I don't recall chasing down players postgame as an A-2...but I
definitely remember Stoli night, learning how to thread Ampex 1" machines,
cutting low home (Cam 7) to Hi 1st (Cam 3), inserting the last white flash
in the roll-out with just enough time to cue the damn thing for air, and
carrying a milk crate of 816's and audio cables up from the field at
Candlestick on another cold & foggy night.

   Fortune definitely has smiled upon me in the TV biz, and I hope in the
many years I spent as a Tape Op after that 1989 season I was able to pass on
some of the lessons I learned in that environment. Because it's guaranteed
that I wouldn't have started up this TV sports "corporate ladder" if fate
hadn't placed Mark Gummere at an internship meeting at SF State, and I
didn't end up around that Candlestick culture.

The Healing Power of Music

   

"You can look at disease as a form of disharmony. And there's no organ system in the body that's not affected by sound and music and vibration."

- Mitchell Gaynor, M.D., Sounds of Healing

Last week I was working the Sharks game and I was not feeling well. After the game I played Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Machine Gun’ from the Band of Gypsys record pretty loud through the nice Genelec monitors on Mira’s M7. I just put myself in the sweet spot and dipped my head and soaked it in. I really let myself feel the music with my body as much as my ears.

I have always loved that song. There is a part midway through the tune where Jimi does this massive bend, Literally screaming. (at 3:55 in the video below) In that bend I have always  heard all the pain on this planet. He was channeling it. For me. And you too. (It is telling to watch him on this song. No showboating or flopping or rolling on the stage-- Just the Music)



Anyway when I got home that night I lied down on the couch and read my tweets and emails. I coughed up some phlegm and didn’t feel that great. I went to bed and slept poorly. I wheezed and tossed and remembered a year ago when I was in the hospital.

After I finally fell asleep at 3am I slept in to 9. I woke up feeling ok.

I think I let the music in and let it do the work.

Music heals in that it exists below cognition. Obviously we think about music all the time too, but where it has it’s power is that it makes us feel. At least good music does.

"A person does not hear sound only through the ears; he hears sound through every pore of his body. It permeates the entire being, and according to its particular influence either slows or quickens the rhythm of the blood circulation; it either wakens or soothes the nervous system. It arouses a person to greater passions or it calms him by bringing him peace.

- Hazrat Inayat Khan, Mysticism of Sound    

Music has healed me in my more distant past as well.

In the mid Eighties I wrote to James Brown when he was in prison. I thanked him for making music that touched me.

Often in college when I was depressed I would turn James Brown up loud and jump and dance and thrash. It felt good, and if you can trick yourself that you are feeling good, you can fool everyone else too.

   

"I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from everyone loves music."

- Billy Joel

This is the tattoo on my right arm. It has the Chinese character for 'Tao' or "the Way' and eighth notes. Or "MUSIC IS THE WAY"

    "Many say that life entered the human body by the help of music, but the truth is that life itself is music."
-Hafiz (Persian Sufi poet)