A Bouquet of Feathers

Over ten years ago my Dad was fighting lymphoma. He was doing chemotherapy and radiation therapy and even a bone marrow transplant at Stanford.

Obviously it was very difficult for me and my family. I wanted to do something. I couldn't just sit there passive. I was reading a book called "Plant Spirit Medicine" This book talks about using the spirits of plants as much as their chemical properties to heal.

So i did some research and found a practioner in Oakland that would see my Dad.  My Dad was a good sport and came along. This healer (I don't remember her name) took my Dad's pulse and applied Traditional Chinese Medicine practices to him. But instead of using acupuncture needles she used different tinctures made from different plants to treat him. I think it must have helped because he agreed to return when the elder Huichol Indian shaman and plant spirit healer Don Guadalupe Gonzales Rios came up to Oakland.

He was a man small in stature but filled with a presence. He looked at my Dad and said,"You have been through alot." My Dad nodded at this understatement.  "I don't think I can stop the cancer but I can help with the pain", he said next. I appreciated this honesty.

He had my Dad take his shirt off and put it on the ground. He had two wooden sticks that had leather strings which held bunches of feathers. He dragged the feathers across his torso where the cancer was and then off and he shook them into a paper bag. It seemed like he was gathering the sickness into the feathers and then releasing it into the bag. At one point he had me move his clothes further away from the bag, as if the sickness could fall back onto his clothes and then reinfect him. After the procedure was over my Dad said that he felt a little better. Any better was good to me.

After this day I have never looked at feathers the same. To birds, loosing a feather here or a feather there is probably like us loosing a hair or skin flaking off. It is not a big deal. But feathers over all are magical.

Why are they special? I think because they give the gift of flight. We humans basically live in two dimensions (X-Y). Feathers are the gateway to the Z axis.

Sacred Feathers—The Power of One Feather to Change Your Life by Maril Crabtree is an excellent book. In the introduction she says, “Feathers! Magical, mystical, incredible feathers! Feathers of all shapes, sizes, varieties, and colors. Throughout history, feathers have served as spiritual symbols for shamans and priests, as symbols of royalty for kings and chiefs, as symbols of healing, or a symbol of sacred power for cultures as far back as the ancient Egyptian, Asian, or Celtic eras. These cultures possessed abilities to communicate with nature in ways that have been overlooked or forgotten in our town time.

“Yet feathers are more than history. For many, they are mystical signs, messages, or opportunities. They are scraps of synchronicity in the flowing patchwork of universal meanings. Feathers appear in unlikely places as assurances of well being, as a comforting sign of abundance in the universe, and as unmistakable messengers of hope and encouragement. Their ephemeral grace makes them the perfect emissaries of spiritual and emotional freedom.”

I have an eye for feathers. I look for them when I hike. I gather them up and place them in my car, or in my plant Jack, or in a vase on the mantel.

I am not sure why I need to collect them. It goes back to my issues with ownership I guess. I think I just like looking at them and enjoying how the patterns and colors affect my eye, and how they feel across the back of my hand.  If i 'own' them perhaps I will have access to their magic when I need it.

"Because he does not compete, there is no one that can compete with him"

This is chapter 8 from the Tao Te Ching. (The Red Pine Translation)

"Because he does not compete, there is no one that can compete with him"

So what is wrong with competition?

Every year I televise hundreds of sporting events. Team against team struggling for victory.

Our society is based on competition. Look at who is emulated in our culture- Sports stars and corporate CEOs making millions if not billions of dollars.

Imagine friendly forests of enlightened redwoods- home of the peaceful stroll. Quietly trees, bushes, animals and insects are all fiercely competing for resources; light, water and food.

But there is one who does not compete whom is worthy of our inspiration; water itself.

Examine how water behaves: It will always seek the lowest level, yet all plants and animals depend upon it for their very sustenance. Yet water seeks no claim of power for this dependence, it just flows; around obstacles, on and on to the sea.

So how do we follow water’s example? Why would we?  I think the best way to be like water is to find a quiet spot to sit and study how water moves. Then make mental notes in which you find adjectives or attributes that describe the water’s movement . Then try and apply those adjectives to your life.

 Think about a flood. The water may seem ‘angry’ or ‘ruthless’ but it is merely following the current that propels it. It is not trying to not flood. –That is a mouthful I know but it is being where it is, wherever that may be.

Another adjective that describes water: adaptability- it will change to fit  whatever situation it may be in. From steam to storm to ice, water doesn’t react or even respond it just changes. It is a process not an object.

When I first started studying Tai Chi my esteemed teacher Dr. Alex Feng suggested the CMAT (Chinese Martial Arts Tournament) for Tai Chi. At first I thought what does Tai Chi have to do with competition? Then I participated in the event and I realized that the competition gave me a goal to help focus my training. It wasn’t about competing against anyone else. In school when do you study? When there is a test. This tournament acted like a final exam for my practice.

There is no escaping competition.  It is a part of life. Yet I don't think competition should be the goal.

Here is the Yin-Yang (Supreme Ultimate) symbol. Some would say the black and white sides are opposites, I like to think of them as complements, one cannot exist without the other. They are not in contention for superiority- they work together in fluid motion. As should we.

I have always looked at my kid's names as goals....

Tonight Bodhi asked who the Buddha was after looking up at the statue on my dresser.

(I brought this Buddha back from Taiwan in 1990.)

I tried to explain that the Buddha was a person who figured out a way to escape the suffering of the world and he created a method in which we could do the same. I told Bodhi it is good for him to understand this story because 'bodhi' and 'buddha' come from the same root and all his life he was going to have to explain his name's meaning to people.

 I have always looked at my kid's names as goals. If Bodhi could be Awakened and Sage could be Wise that would be fine with me as a parent.

One of my favorite things about Bodhi is how much he likes to help. Maybe it is just the one-on -one time with me, maybe it is the praise i give him, ...regardless he just is a joy in the kitchen. Always getting things i ask for, putting away silverware, putting things in the recycling.

As he grows who he is becomes clearer, and yes he is a wanger but he also has this love of helping.

 I try and remember back when i was five, did I help out like that?

Then there is Sage. 

One of her many talents is being able to study you and give a  perfect present. She is well on her way to being her name.


Before she was born I spoke to James Mansfield, a camera guy I work with about the impending birth of his first kid (of two) Jordan (a girl). I said, "James aren't you afraid of bringing a kid into this earth to face the impending apocalypse?  He replied, "Derek you can't think of it that way. You have to think, My kid is going to be the one to save the planet, like Sarah Jordan in Terminator 2.--- No Fate."

This has always resonated with me. So I have set high goals for my kids (myself is a different story).

A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
 
-Bruce Lee More Bruce Lee Quotes

Nog - Guerilla Poetry.....

A few months ago I was hiking around North Beach  in San Francisco, I looked down and saw this poetry stuck all over the sidewalk.

These random off-hand almost discarded words reminded me of the late 1980's back in Santa Cruz when I walked around spreading poems like appleseeds around UCSC.  I was writing under the name 'nog' (From the book by Rudolph Wurlizer. (Also on wikipedia I just found out there was a Star Trek character named nog. as well))

I was cold and lonely in those distant years. So I think my poetry sprang from some sexual repression. I wanted attention but in some roundabout way. Why didn't I put my name on these poems? They were pretty good.... I wanted to influence people's minds but in a subtle way I guess.

As I walked through the redwoods, I would take my poems and tack them up around campus; outside the practice pianos at the music performing hall (the one with the trippy reverb), or inside the bathroom outside the art studios.

Sometimes I would get creative and fold one up and hide it in some dusty volume in McHenry Library, or when the 'Apple Sci' (applied science building) was under construction I slipped another poem into a wall before it was drywalled closed. (The last line reads, 'Hey man what's eating you')

Poetry to me is kind of like reggae or jazz. My favorites are the big names; Pablo Neruda, Gary Snyder, or Allen Ginsberg. There are other modern poets but they don't really speak to me.

Just like I know there are many other talented musicians besides Bob Marley or John Coltrane but in jazz and reggae they have made the largest ripples.

As a 'guerilla poet' I worked spreading my thought-viruses for months. Then one day I posted a poem called "Fucker" (my titles did not always relate back to the poem).

For the days and weeks after a posting I would check back on my creations, just to see if anyone had ripped then down yet. Then to my surprise someone had written "Thank You" on this poem.

I was infatuated with the Chinese Tang Dynasty poets. How they would write of drinking wine under trees while flower petals fell all around them. So one night I walked out with a sleeping bag out by the Lime Kilns by campus and wrote this story/haiku.

In those Santa Cruz years I considered 'poet' part of my identity. Once a poet always a poet? Or does one need to continually write poetry to be a poet? Can one be a poet in how they live their life?









Bob Dylan said in his memoir 'Chronicles' in order to create one must be moving. I just don't seem to have as much to say now. Maybe it is because i have sunk deep roots and am not moving anymore.

It's ok. I like trees.

Mixing sports in a musical way.

This summer when the Red Sox came to town I spoke to their traveling A1( I think his name was Paul?) about mixing hockey.

In the winter he mixed the Bruins back in Boston.  He spoke of not having the ice sounds as loud as possible for the entire telecast. He made the analogy to music: If a drummer is playing busy fills the entire song (keith moon excluded) when he does a particularly tasty tom roll you don't notice it as much as if he holds a steady beat the whole song then does a flashy high-hat fill going into the chorus. It's the change that attracts your attention.

One thing I enjoy in music is dynamics; the natural rise and fall of the emotion of a song. Sporting events have this swing of emotions as well--- It is a little different than music in that the overall levels can't have dramatic swings of volume, but in a good mix an individual puck 'ping' off of the crossbar in hockey can stand out like a sweet bass lick.

As in a song, the sounds of the game or 'FX' have to add to the story of the event. When watching a movie if the explosions are too loud and you can't hear the carefully written dialogue then your enjoyment of the film is decreased.

One thing I have been practicing this year (at the suggestion of Steve Nielson) is to mix quieter. I find I have better balances and less ear fatigue when mixing quieter. If one of the announcers is a mumbler with bad microphone technique to boot (like Drew Remenda) when the FX drown him I can tell quickly-- if I am not hearing this guy, then you at home might not be able to hear this guy as well.

The irony with my quest for mix dynamics in sports is that once my mix leaves the truck it runs through numerous compressors and limiters in the transmission path so what you hear at home can be two dimensional and squashed.

Oh well. My ears is all i have. My goal is to make it sound as good in the truck as possible. Before you order another beer in the bar where they have the volume turned down anyway!

The Theme of Signal to Noise

In Audio there is a term Signal to Noise.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signal-to-noise_ratio I was thinking yesterday about how this applies to facebook and twitter. There is so much noise but not always much content. So instead of posting on facebook and adding to the noise I will now run this blog. It will be a derek's debris of sorts.

Year's ago I discovered a term "Infotoxin" in a magazine called "AdBusters" The term resonated with me. Here is a definition ----

INFOTOXIN is "the pollution or degradation of our information environment." It is "misinformation, propaganda, most forms of advertising, as well as the sheer abundance of mediocrity and consumption persuasion which assaults the mind from the face of the tube of the glossy pages of the high-glam magazine. It is not necessarily a conspiracy to subvert the global mind but a systemic effect resulting from the net actions of many groups of like-minded people motivated by the same values and attempting to proliferate these values using an entire spectrum of modern mass-communication techniques." http://www.regainyourbrain.org/regain_articles/jeff%20phillips%20articles/infotoxin%20definitions.htm

I feel we need to detox all these infotoxins and focus our awareness on our actions. I find if i quiet my mind and follow my breath- I can be mindful of what I am doing and this leads to a better quality of life. I feel I can respond instead of react.

It is difficult to do. I often fail. But I return to my breath and use that as a ground to stand upon. My goal is to provide Signal in my actions and my words.