Compared to What?

What do you do for fun? Are you good at it? Is being good at it important to you?

Most of our lives are separated into 'packets'- work, family and ‘other’. Some are so lucky that their ‘other’ is their work, i.e they are professional snowboarders or such.

I ponder the quality of my efforts in my life endeavors. What I mean is am I a good Dad/husband? Am I a good mixer? Am I a good uke or bass player? What does it mean to be good in these activities?

Looks like we always end up in a rut (everybody now!)
Tryin' to make it real — compared to what?

As many of you know I recently bought a new Koa Tenor Ukulele from Peter Hurney at Pohaku Ukuleles. Peter was great and installed a pickup and tweaked the saddle to really dial in the sound and feel of this instrument. So I wrote him an email:

“Thanks for your attention to detail and customer support! I know as I progress as a player I will never be hindered by my instrument. It's like I stand at the edge of an expansive garden waiting to be explored!  His response made me laugh,” I'll believe it when I see it.”

Peter makes master instruments for great players. He has many talented ukulele players performing nightly on his instruments. This is not me-I am not a great player, ….yet.

I enjoy playing and learning new chords and songs but I don’t practice the requisite 2-4 hours a day to become a ‘master’. I plan to improve but I doubt I will ever be a ‘pro’ level player. I am ok with this.

I have a number of hobbies. Playing/recording music (on both bass and ukulele), Tai Chi (both Yang and Chen styles), mountain biking/ hiking/exploring, meditating and reading/studying. This is quite a list of activities. (besides work and parenting) I think my energies are so split/ divided that I don’t improve quickly and efficiently in any one of them. Which is ok. Who am I comparing my self against? Why do I need to compare at all?

 I found this quote on twitter today…."There are many paths up the mountain, but if you travel them all you will never make it to the top"  (You will know the overall mountain better than sprinting to the top though.)

In all my hobbies the path is the goal and the practice is the prize. However my Tai Chi practice is helped compared to my other interests by two things: 1) I have a teacher who can correct my bad habits, and 2) I have a goal: To learn the whole Chen performance set, and possibly the CMAT tournament in Berkeley in the spring. Because of these two external helpers I see gradual progress in my Tai Chi studies.

I know I will never be exceptional at anything. I am content with this. I am enjoying the ride.

Years ago I learned the more you learn, the more you learn that there is more to learn….What do I have to prove?





(post script)
 What about my work? Don't I have self confidence in my abilities?

In Amerika we often speak of 'Proud to be ______' (insert word.) It goes back to our 'puritan work ethic'- to take pride in endeavors. But pride comes with a cost. Here are some quotes from A View On Buddhism that I have unproudly pinched that can explain it better than me:

Pride is defined as an exaggerated positive evaluation of oneself, often based on a devaluation of others. It results in a kind of attachment to oneself and aversion to others.

"One of the main obstacles is our pride. This pride is an inflated state of mind and relies on our false view of the transitory collection, which focuses on the existent self, attributed to our body and mind, and distorts it. When we are on top of a very high mountain, we look down on all the lower peaks. Similarly, when we are full of pride, everyone else appears lower. We are the best and everyone else is inferior. This pride is associated with our self-preocupation and makes us act inappropriately and disrespectfully towards others, thereby bringing us face to face with all kinds of unpleasant and unwanted experiences. As long as we feel and act as through we are the center of the universe, we will never develop real concern for others. To counteract this attitude we train ourselves always to think of them as supremely important by considering their good qualities and by reviewing our own faults and weaknesses."
from 'Eight Verses for Training the Mind' by Geshe Sonam Rinchen

"Tibetans look at a person who holds himself above others, believing he is better than others and knows more, and they say that person is like someone sitting on a mountain top: it is cold there, it is hard, and nothing will grow. But if the person puts himself in a lower position, then that person is like a fertile field."
Allan Wallace

"What is like a smelly fart,
that, although invisible is obvious?
One's own faults, that are precisely
As obvious as the effort made to hide them."
His Holiness the 7th Dalai Lama in 'Songs of spiritual change' (translated by Glenn Mullin)

How can you be proud if you are not enlightened?
How can you be proud if even the enlightened are not?
Stonepeace